sir snores alot

M snores.  like a machine. 

when we first started spending nights together i learned this the hard way.  it was dreadful.  i would spend each night staring up at the ceiling wishing it would stop.  praying, please make it stop! 

eventually i learned that after about an hour he’d stop.  that’s when i’d go to sleep.  it became the routine.  the lights go out, i start to fall asleep, he starts snoring, i stay awake until he stops, and then i sleep.  the next half of the routine was more frustrating.  i’d wake up in the middle of the night because he started snoring again.  and there i was, laying there waiting for him to stop once again.  for the most part once i’m asleep and am woken up before i’m ready, i’m not a happy camper.  S will testify to this.  no matter what the situation she still will not wake me up.  i think if the house was on fire she’d still have to give it some seroius thought.  and whenever someone else is told to wake me she’ll send them off with a chuckle and a “good luck!”

you know how sometimes you wake up but you’re still kind of asleep?  i remember one distinct night when i was sound asleep and i guess M started snoring.  i don’t remember exactly how it happened because before i was fully conscious i flipped over and used that momentum to swing my arm around and smack him in the chest.  i remember it so clearly from that point because as soon as my hand made impact on his chest i felt the force and i guess it made me really wake up.  in the same instant i realized what i’d just done and quickly flipped back to my other side to pretend i was asleep for the fear that he would be waking up and would surely be pissed that i just punched him in his sleep.  as i lay there holding my eyes closed trying to control my breathing i heard nothing.  no movement.  no complaining.  no snoring!  he didn’t wake up and he had no clue what i’d done later that morning when i asked “how did you sleep?”.  and this taught me that to make him stop snoring all i had to do was hit him.  but i’m a nice girlfriend so instead of renacting this another night the next time i was awakened by snoring i nudged/pushed him.  he stopped.  this is how the first year of sleeping in the same bed went.  i wasn’t sure i’d ever get a full night’s sleep again.

but i guess i got used to it.  because now?  i can’t fall asleep if he’s not snoring.  it’s like a lullaby.  i’m serious.  when our heads hit the pillows i just lay there.  the second he starts snoring i fall immediately asleep.  when i sleep alone?  i have a tough time falling asleep right away.  it’s crazy.  but i guess that’s love.  or insanity.  i haven’t figured it out yet.

 

  

~ today i learned… the medical term for tummy rumbling is “borborygmi” ~