it’s always like this

March 1, 2010

not true

Filed under: a baby story, step by step — notsojenny @ 8:44 am

the other day there was a moment between my husband and dog that made me smile.  this is nothing new, this happens often.  but something about the moment made me stop.  i realized i LOVE these moments.  moments that it’s just the 3 (shutup) of us.  it’s just so nice.  it’s easy.  it’s comfortable.  and simply watching him interact with the dog can make me beam.  and in that moment i realized that once we have a baby it’ll never be like this again.  it’ll never just be the two of us.  with simple moments with the dog.  but that’s not true.

we’re constantly back to working on the house and yet the list of things to repair/fix/replace/buy only gets longer.  and whenever we talk about the money we want to put into the yard, the bathroom renovation, the french doors (eeee!!) it brings me down a little.  because i want these things for our house, i want them to improve our way of life and the enjoyment we get out of being home, but i know that once we get pregnant the financial focus will change.  we’ll be doing some really quick nesting for the baby, loading up on the things we’ll need for a kid and not the things we want to do to improve the value of our house.  and those things we’ve wanted to do since we bought the place will no longer be in sight, we won’t be working on them.  we’ll never make it into the home we dreamed it would be.  but that’s not true.

there are times when we’ll be talking and our “wants” come up.  places we want to go.  things we want to experience.  there are so many of these.  and the lists only get longer.  and now each time we decide on a new country we’d like to visit or beach we’d like to lounge on i get bummed out a little.  because once we have a kid we won’t be working on this list.  we won’t be picking up and traveling whenever we want.  we won’t be jaunting around countries just because we can find a cheap flight because there’ll be more of us and hauling around babies isn’t necessarily easy.  and while i’d love to show our children the world it’s probably not going to happen barring some divine intervention and powerball tickets.  so we’ll be here in the states, not out seeing the world as we want to.  but that’s not true.

because while yes, things may change right away – parts of our life will get put on hold, it’s inevitable when you’re trying to bring up children – but these changes aren’t permanent.  
there will be a time again when it’s just the two of us.  yes, it may be in 20 years when the kids are off in college (fingers crossed) but it’ll be just us again someday.  and our lives will be so much richer. 
and there will be work done on the house to continue making it into our home.  yes, it’ll be spread out a little more but it’ll all get done eventually.  and we’ll love the home we created for our family. 
and we will travel to the places we dream of.  maybe we’ll be able to afford to bring our children, i hope so, but even if we can’t we’ll be able to see these things when it’s just the two of us again.  and it’ll be even more fun then.  yes, i’d love to travel the world at our age right now but it’s okay.  i look at my mom and she’s been to more countries in the past 4 years than i have in my entire life.  i’d be okay with that, sending the kids postcards to their dorm rooms from Greece, Spain, Denmark, wherever.

because we can put off all of those things and yet still do them in our lifetime.  but having babies doesn’t work that way, you can’t put it off for 20 years at our age, the window starts closing and we’re gonna make sure we get through… even if we have to run and roll all Indiana Jones style.



~ today i learned… you’re no longer allowed to throw flowers into the ice at the end of a figure skating performance, stuffed animals only now… i can’t find any rule as to exactly why ~


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