it’s always like this

January 6, 2010

pre-conceiving notions

Filed under: absolutely fabulous, family ties, growing pains, the love boat — notsojenny @ 8:56 am

while i’m sometimes talking myself out of wanting to get pregnant NOW NOW NOW! deep down i know that when it comes down to it we’re waiting.

we don’t want a baby.  not right now anyway.  we’re not ready.  i’m not ready. *keep repeating this notsojenny, just keep repeating it*

there are so many things we want to see/do/have before we change the shape of our family and daily lives forever.  some of them are things we won’t be able to put back on the list for a while once we have a kid since they saddle you for at least a year, some of them are just things that will become financially harder once we’re feeding another mouth, some of them are just things we want to get out of our system, and others are just selfish things i want to happen before we can never go back.  these are some of the things keeping us in check…

  • my wanting to be a MILF.  i need to get into shape.  it’s on my goal list for this New Year and i’ve already made steps to get there (i got my new running headband & gloves… now i just need to start getting up and lacing up) and i’m going to enroll in a local pilates class i recently found once i pay off christmas gifts (in the next couple of weeks)
  • i need to eat better.  i’m a junk food junkie and sometimes i skip a meal because i’m just being lazy or the opposite, i’m so busy doing something that i don’t feel like stopping to eat.  if i won’t be able to have caffeine and some of the other deliciousness that i currently indulge in daily i should probably learn how to live without them before i just have to give them all up cold turkey
  • go to vegas.  M has been a million times and at this point he goes for work so often that he doesn’t enjoy it much anymore but i’ve never been and i’ve refused to go until i can go “right”.  i want to stay in nice hotels, eat nice meals, see great shows, and be able to gamble more than $50.  we’ve been trying to go together but there’s just been so much else going on but it’s definitely something i want to accomplish before we’re leaving a kid behind to do it (of all places to go it seems kinda irresponsible to leave your kid behind to galavant around Vegas)
  • prepare more for pregnancy.  i know all of the gory details that my sister and S have filled me in on but there’s so much more that i have no clue about.  i don’t go into anything unprepared and i really need to start reading more about it so i’m not caught off guard when i suddenly* find myself pregnant and am not able to read enough each week to really follow what’s going on.  i will be reading all the beginner /start-up books this year : )
  • finish the house.  we have so much to do/repair/replace/fix and if i were not able to pitch in and our funding was diminished it would either be completely halted or ridiculously slow-going.  we need to finish quite a few things around here before we even want to think about lounging around all pregnant and whatnot
  • start hoarding baby stuff.  i constantly see things i love love love for baby rooms and i constantly see stuff i think is atrocious.  i’m not sure 9 months would be enough time for me to build up a collection and a room theme that i’m happy with.  i often need more time to start making decisions and then change my mind 1/3 of the way in : )
  • i need to change jobs.  i need to get back into a real job with a real office and real coworkers.  i need to be happy in my career again.  i also need to make sure i’m somewhere for at least 9 months before we decide to get pregnant, i need those medical benefits to kick in before it’s too late
  • find someone to dye my hair.  since i know you’re not really supposed to be doing that during pregnancy (at lease in the beginning) i want to make sure my hair is taken care of in a color setup that i’m happy with before i’m trotting around with a big ‘ol belly and a head full of greys
  • cutting out the cursing is a necessity before i can have a baby around here.  i don’t need a small child hearing my sailor mouth.  i know it can be done, i’ve done it before.  i need to be at my most lady like if i want to be a mother.
  • along with that i want to have my attitude changed up a little.  i don’t want to sound like my mother.  i don’t want my kids thinking the things about me that i think about my mother.  i have a LOT of love to give and i want my children to know how much they’re loved every second of every day, i don’t want to snap at them when i’m stressed and they’re on my nerves.  i don’t want to lose my cool and call them names.  i’d like to think i could control myself anyway but until i can just remove these things from my current actions i shouldn’t be rearing anyone
  • build up my accessory collection.  i’m excited about getting to buy and wear all new maternity clothes but at the same time i’ll most likely be getting plain basics and having bags and jewelery i can wear, pregnant or not, would make me feel so much better.  plus how fun would it be to have something you wear all the time while you’re pregnant that you can still wear afterward?
  • meet more people in the area and make more friends in the neighborhood.  we’ll need people to have playdates with.  we’ll need people to recommend babysitters.  and i’ll need people to walk with when i’m trying to keep in shape while pregnant and get my kiddo fresh air after it’s born.

 there are a few more things but this list is long enough as is.  as much as we’re so not ready i’m SO looking forward to when we make that decision that we ARE.

* suddenly as in we make the decision to try to start having a baby and i’m too busy to do things like read “What To Expect…” because, well, i’m too busy “trying” to make a baby



 ~ today i learned… at midnight on Dec. 31, Buddhist temples strike their gongs 108 times, in a effort to expel 108 types of human weakness ~



  1. Pregnancy seems like such an overwhelming thing for me, but I’m excited to read about your journey with it! And see all the cute clothes, haha. :-)

    Comment by I Have Two Dogs & Love Wine — January 6, 2010 @ 10:15 am

  2. Yikes, yeah, the sailor mouth thing is something I need to get under control as well!

    Comment by stealthnerd — January 6, 2010 @ 12:20 pm

  3. The career one is a BIG reason for me. But I also understand the MILF one as well. Who doesn’t want to be a hot momma? I want to be so in shape that you wouldn’t be able tell from my back that I was preggers.

    Comment by Megkathleen — January 6, 2010 @ 6:08 pm

  4. Sounds like a great list! :)

    Comment by walkingonsunshine18 — January 6, 2010 @ 6:08 pm

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