it’s always like this

October 19, 2009

ugh, gross

Filed under: just shoot me, our house, perfect strangers, step by step — notsojenny @ 12:10 pm

that’s pretty much what i’ve been saying since the minute we did the walk-thru in our new house

i think i’ve said it more in the past week than i have in my last 26 (heehee) years

the people we purchased our new house from were not only kinda’ jerks but they were apparently really gross, filthy, and just plain incompetent.  before we bought the house we knew they hadn’t taken care of any major things involved with house ownership.  everything was original to the house.  that always sounds good but it’s really bad.  “original” means never replaced, never updated, never fixed… and in this case never even maintained.  so between what we could see and the home inspection we knew we were in for some pretty major repairs to make it a safe place to live right off the bat…
new roof
new HVAC
new water heater

all pretty pricey and important things.  but we worked those into our deal and included those repairs into what we paid for the house.  not a bad deal overall.  my husband is quite the wheeler/dealer type.

and then it came to moving into the house… and we were caught off guard.  i guess we assumed most people are relatively clean, have some self-respect, and have some shame.  especially people who live in this neighborhood… it’s definitely NOT the ghetto.  but we were wrong.  so so wrong.  these people lived filthy gross dirty disgusting lives.  and they had no shame in leaving the house that way for us too.  it was a bit of a stunner at first and now we’re just kinda to the point of laughing hysterically like Tom Hanks in Money Pit whenever something else happens.  i have yet to see a single thing that doesn’t need a good sanitizing, repairing or replacing.  i honestly don’t think they EVER cleaned the place.  here’s just the abbreviated list:

  • on walk thru day the owners had left some of their trash on our deck and in the garage… we informed their realtor they needed to dispose of it.  they did… they also came back and took other things that were left in the house when we signed off on the walk-thru, that’s shady.
  • their realtor was to provide us with the extra keys and garage door openers at the closing… but the previous owners decided NO, so we got one shitty old garage door opener and that was it.  they had 2 teen kids… that means they had At Least 4 house keys, we got one.  that’s SHADY.  i made M change the locks that night!
  • the trash can was full and overflowing the day we moved in from the previous residents… trash pickup wasn’t for 4 days which meant we couldn’t actually have any trash.  and then when the trash did come, they didn’t take it.  because your can lid needs to be closed… and they filled it up so it was overflowing.  i hate these people.
  • they previously had shelving/racking in the garage… they apparently ripped it all out by tying it to their truck and driving away since the drywall looks like swiss cheese (oh, and the garage REEKS of wet dog!)
  • the inside of the house smelled of wet dog as well… one carpet specifically.  we shampooed it multiple times, it’s not getting any better
  • the tile floors from the kitchen to the front door are cracked all over the place
  • the corner of the kitchen appears to be sinking into the earth… it’s not cool
  • the cabinet under the kitchen sink looks like it was subject to hurricane Katrina… M gagged many times trying to clean the mold out
  • the kitchen is just… gross.  completely grimy and a layer of grease/filth on every wall/cabinet/window and somehow inside of the cupboards as well
  • the interior of the kitchen drawers and cupboards are beyond reason.  not only did i have to VACUUM them (wtf?!) but it looks like things exploded in there
  • the food pantry was GROSS!  i can’t even get into detail, i’ll gag.
  • there was dog hair everywhere.  the worst part is the walls, i thought there was dog hair on the walls… it turns out it’s in the PAINT!  they PAINTED OVER DOG HAIR!
  • we have a pleasant swarm of yellow jackets living under our 2nd floor balcony… and we can’t find our hornet spray
  • the deck railing they had their dog tied up to is no longer even attached to the deck
  • the windows are all painted shut. 
  • there was a dead fly festival going on inside each of the windows
  • the grout in the kitchen falls apart if you touch it.  the laminate counter tops are peeling apart
  • the bathrooms are… ugh, well M told me to not lift up any toilet seats because then i would never use the toilet
  • the showers are NASTY, nasty, nasty
  • every electrical outlet was wired upside down!  i know that’s not the owner’s fault, it’s lazy contractors but still, they should have fixed that shit like we’re going to.

and that’s just the topical stuff.  this doesn’t even begin to touch on the hideous cosmetics of the house.  we have SO MANY changes to make to it.  every lighting fixture.  every switch plate.  ALL of the BRASS accents.  we’re trying to change things one at a time… small changes that make a big impact.  we have many major changes that are on our VERY LONG list as well (removing tile, putting in hardwoods, total bathroom remodel, replacing all windows, kitchen remodel, etc.).

the part that really disturbs me isn’t just that they lived in such filth, it’s that they had 2 kids.  and apparently the kids lived in this too.  granted they’re teens now and if they wanted it cleaner they could make it so… but they don’t, because they don’t know any different.  it’s just sad.  and gross.  i guess i knew people lived like this, i just thought most people wouldn’t want anyone to know they lived like this. 

i mean at least hire cleaning people if you’re not going to clean it yourself… even if it’s only the once, after you move all your shit out.


oh… and get this… we think they’re living next door temporarily.  awesome.



~ today i learned… they have flea collars for dogs that are scented.  DON’T ever get these!  they smell like a walking bathroom air freshener. ~



  1. We’re just renting our house and you should see the condition it’s in! A few weeks back I washed all the windows and blinds and had to change the water after each window. Dan just replaced the smoke alarm b/c the one outside of our bedroom has been hanging ever since it “beeped incessantly one night” long before we lived there.

    Oh and there used to be a built in microwave but it stopped working so they just ripped it out of the wall…and left the big gaping holes! And we’ve painted most of the rooms in the house. They used to be hunter green, burgundy and Carolina blue. Now they’re ‘horseradish’

    It kills me that they’ve rented this house to us in this condition but don’t even blink about calling us to yell if our grass gets a bit too long.

    Some people are asses.

    Comment by littlespoon — October 19, 2009 @ 1:09 pm

  2. It’s things like this that make me glad to be a renter, albeit poor and with no equity to my name. At least you can laugh about it! And eventually, you WILL have a lovely home of your very very own.

    Comment by LiLu — October 20, 2009 @ 12:32 pm

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