it’s always like this

September 17, 2009

wedding day – the ceremony

Filed under: a wedding story — notsojenny @ 10:15 am

i didn’t really want to continue with these until i had some photos but i’ve already started… so i’m gonna keep going.  i’ll have to figure out some way to incorporate photos later on

so there we were.  my mom and i, me with my heart beating faster and faster.  standing one step away from the entrance to the sanctuary while my DOC watched the adorable flowergirls wander down the aisle.  they got to the end and she turned to us, “okay, we’re ready for ya'”

and we stepped into the doorway.

the music changed.  but wait, what?  i turned my head to the DOC and whispered “that’s not my music” and then turned to face the sanctuary.  M and i had sat down one night and pulled together our own compilation of music for the wedding.  we didn’t want all that sad, serious, draining music.  we picked songs that were all a little more upbeat.  and it took me a while to pick the song that felt right, the only one i could see myself walking down the aisle to.  and the music guy got it right at the rehearsal but i think having to stall for the extra half hour threw him off and that’s how i ended up with the bridal party processional as my bridal processional.  back to stuff that matters…

i don’t remember any visuals at this point.  when i look back in my mind i see a sea of blurry colors and light on both sides.  i couldn’t focus on anyone.  honestly i don’t even remember seeing M’s face at first.  my heart was POUNDING in my chest, my steps were a little shaky, my smile was anything but natural… i could feel my cheeks up in my eyes.  and before i knew it we were at the end of the aisle.

the Pastor began speaking.  after a few minutes i got nervous that he forgot my mom was still standing there with us.  we didn’t go over things in detail at the rehearsal and i was fearing that it came back to bite us in the ass.  at one point i was ready to whisper to my mom to just go sit down when he finally gave her cue, “… and who presents this woman…”  she gave her “i do” and took her seat.  i handed off my bouquet to S and M and i then faced each other.  we remained this way through the ceremony, holding hands sometimes facing the pastor but mostly facing each other.  i like to think we’re telepathic and he knew all the silly stuff i was trying to say to him without speaking but from everyone else’s p.o.v we were just smiles and sometimes giggles up there.  i will spare you the entire ceremony but here’s the layout…

Pastor’s Greeting

Declaration of Intention – this is where we actually get to say “I Do”

Pastor: The marriage of Notsojenny and M unites their families and creates a new one. 
They ask for your blessing
People: We rejoice in your union, and pray God’s blessing upon you
Pastor: Will all of you, by God’s grace, do everything in your power to
uphold and care for these two persons in their marriage?
People: We Will

1 Corinthians 13 – the typical love is patient, love is kind…

Union  by Robert Fulgham –  if you’ve never heard this before i recommend googling it.  it’s a pretty popular wedding reading these days and M and i both loved it

Exchange of Vows– we used the standard vows for the Methodist Church.  i’m not sure if i’ve lamented about people writing their own vows on here before but if i haven’t i’m sure you can assume how i feel about those.  anyway, M did his first.  he repeated after the Pastor and everything was good.  then it was my turn.  i started and then… i had to stop.  just for a second, to regain my composure.  but the Pastor didn’t understand, maybe he thought i went deaf, maybe he thought i forgot the 4 words he’d just told me to repeat.  it felt like 10 minutes but i’m sure it was only a few seconds.  i felt my knee quickly shake… trying to shake the tears away as usual.  and i just remember standing there, trying to breathe to keep the tears away and the Pastor just stood there repeating the line he was waiting for me to repeat.  i almost peeped up with “okay, give me a minute!  geez!”  but i didn’t.  i got through it.  i repeated the rest of the vows and then pulled my hanky out of the top of my dress to dry my eyes.

Blessing and Exchange of Rings – after everything that had happened earlier when the Pastor asked for the rings we were all smiles and laughter.  and M started to put my ring on… upside down!  i tried to whisper a quick “other way” but he didn’t get it.  so after a few seconds of looking like the bossy bride he flipped the ring over before putting it on my finger for good.  i just couldn’t bear the thought of not wearing my ring the way he placed it on my finger.  and in case this doesn’t make sense to you my ring has a slight U shape to fit against my engagement ring… he had that part upside down.

Declaration of Marriage – this is where it’s official “by the power vested in me from the Commonwealth of Virginia…”

Blessing of Marriage

Hand Ceremony – these are also becoming popular and we both really liked the words and symbolism

and that was it.  then they announced us and our recessional music (the correct one) played and S handed me my bouquet, we turned to face the applauding crowd and began our exit down the aisle.



  1. It’s a bummer that you spent that time picking out the perfect sound and didn’t get to use it, but it sounds like you and M had a wonderful moment up front with each other!

    Comment by DanceintheRain — September 17, 2009 @ 2:03 pm

  2. My husband got confused b/c my engagement ring was on my right hand so he tried to put the wedding ring there too :) boys :)

    Comment by littlespoon — September 28, 2009 @ 1:13 pm

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