it’s always like this

April 10, 2009

picket in the *ss

Filed under: a wedding story, gimme a break — notsojenny @ 9:10 am

i sent the church an email today

i haven’t heard anything since the last time i was there, and back then even that was “i’ll call the other couple in a week and let you know”

that was over a month ago.  i sent a polite little email, masking all my frustration with this situation, inquiring as to whether they’ve heard anything from the other couple yet.

i got an instant response.

the other couple backed out.

initially i was all YAY!  WE HAVE THE CHURCH!!

since that time, hours have passed, and a million thoughts have traipsed through my mind.  i’m not sure what i want.  for the past month+ i’ve been resigned to the fact that we’d most likely be having our ceremony at the reception venue.  i’ve pictured it all, working out each detail as the ceremony progressed.  and while there are obviously elements that i’m not crazy about i like the options i’ve thought up, i’ve even figured out where we’d enter from and i finally decided on a spot i liked. 

but now we have an option.  and i have no clue what i want to do.  i’ve always dreamed about the church ceremony and i was devastated when we didn’t get it right away.  since then i’ve dreamed of the outdoor ceremony and it’s definitely appealing.

there are plenty of pros & cons for each location.  here’s how i make decisions like this…

                                                      PROS                                                              CONS
church reception venue                     church reception venue
get to have it in the church of my faith if the weather is nice it’ll be beautiful   adds more travel for the guests… under  10 minutes to the reception though delays ceremony by 1hr
always pictured a church ceremony convenience… one place for all 3 events (ceremony, cocktails, reception)   inside of this church isn’t exactly picturesque, kinda ugly having all events in one space poses a staging problem… guests will be able to watch chairs being removed during cocktail hour (I find this slightly tacky)
if the weather is bad we don’t need a backup plan I’ve already figured out the entry order and I like the idea of walking through the garden up to the ceremony location   church interior is much bigger than our guest size, may feel kind of empty in the case of foul weather the ceremony through reception will all be in one indoor space… not ideal, where will people go during changes? (taking chairs out, bringing tables in, etc)
pictures on the beautiful steps of the old old church building since we’re having a small wedding we will fill up the space where the ceremony takes place, will feel “full”   not sure where to do pictures close by before (when we have our “first look” ) it might give people cabin fever to be in the same closed in garden space for 5+ hours
getting to have everyone toss rice/seeds when we exit (I LOVE this!) natural beauty means less decoration needed, plus area will already be decorated for reception, etc.     no “throwing of the rice” portion… we’ll have to do some kind of fun exit instead (sparklers anyone?)
ceremony starts earlier, which means earlier reception all decorating for ceremony & reception can be done at one time     we’d need to rent chairs for ceremony as the ones they provide are those cheap molded plastic patio ones… not ideal
we can go in and decorate early rehearsal options are open – we can pretty much do it at any time      


after M came home we discussed the topic.  we both went back and forth on the pros & cons.  while we both agree that having it outdoors at the reception venue would be the ideal and prettiest choice, we both also agree that the unknown weather is a bigger factor.  so we’ve stopped straddling the fence.  we decided on the church as our first choice.

now if only i could get confirmation from the church once again.  in his response he mentioned that the saturday date is now available and it’s ours.  um, yah, except we’re getting married on a friday.  i’ve asked him to confirm that he meant friday and now i’m just waiting for an affirmative response.  and if we don’t hear that, well then worst case scenario is we have the reception venue… which we both still love also… we’ll just have to pray for a dry day : )  



~ today i learned… at Jim Henson’s funeral all the puppeteers brought their muppets and sang a song ~



  1. What a tough decision. But I’m with you, I would never want to get married utside b/c the weather is just too unpredictable!

    Comment by littlespoon — April 10, 2009 @ 10:10 am

  2. it’d be just my luck that i’d go for the outdoor wedding and it starts hailing the size of golf balls.

    Comment by dmb5_libra — April 10, 2009 @ 2:07 pm

  3. tough choices! I can see myself in exactly this quandary. I’ve always imagined getting married in a church, and I have this whole vision of what it’s going to be like (complete with the rice/birdseed/etc.!), BUT I’m also one of those kinds of people who, given enough time to think about alternatives, can get really attached to them, too.

    I’d go with the church if it’s actually available, if only because that was your first and longest instinct. If that doesn’t work, at least you know you’ll be happy at the venue! Either way, though, seriously, I’m sure it’ll be lovely; I’m sure you’ll look back, years from now, and you’ll be so glad it worked out the way it did.

    Comment by magda — April 10, 2009 @ 8:57 pm

  4. Seriously, I hear ya on venues. It can be so very stressful!

    Fingers crossed about the church for you. <3

    Comment by Ms. Argument — April 11, 2009 @ 9:55 am

  5. Oh man, isn’t that always how it goes? As soon as you not only resign yourself to your second option but actually start to prefer that over the first option, suddenly first choice throws itself back in the running! I’m sure you’ll have an absolutely lovely ceremony though at whatever location you end up with!!

    Comment by stealthnerd — April 13, 2009 @ 10:42 am

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