it’s always like this

April 6, 2009

samurai wedding

Filed under: a wedding story — notsojenny @ 9:12 am

all this wedding stuff can really overload a girl/person.  i mean honestly all the wedding magazines, blogs, shows, etc. they really are a double edged sword.  as great as they are to help you get ideas for things to do, or maybe things you’re missing (bathroom baskets, etc.) they’re also the devil.  i’m so sick of reading about people doing the same things i am.  sure, some of my ideas were garnered from the same wedding sites where these people are saying they’re doing that too but it’s still frustrating, no one wants to feel like their wedding is “trendy” (or maybe it’s that people who aren’t trendy don’t want to feel like that).  and then there’s all the unnecessary elements, the ones that everyone who blogs these days feel they have to do, the ones they try to make you feel like a schlub for not doing.

– i can’t continue to look at photographers through the blog world.  i keep falling in love with photographers (even though they’re not even in my area) whose style is gorgeous, absolutely what we’re going for.  and then i look closer, all the shoes are Choo and Louboutin, the dresses Acra & Lhuillier, bags by Leiber, etc.  i can’t afford any of those things so i know i can’t afford the photographer either.  i know some people who are at the same financial stage in life as we are say “oh it’s your big day, splurge!” but quite honestly it’s just not in the budget.  $700 shoes?  sorry, no.  however i am scraping and digging to find the $3k for our band!  now THAT is something i think is totally worth the splurge!

– i’ve given up on magazines.  i grabbed up wedding magazines by the armload when we became engaged.  i quickly realized they all spout the same information over and over, just like 17 magazine.  not many inspirational pictures and ideas in most of the mags either.  i do have to say that the most useful one i purchased was the least magazine like, but should be required for wedding planning.  it was Real Simple Wedding and it pretty much has every tidbit you’ll need to know.  yes, they show some pricey options but it’s a great reference to make your own checklists and really cover all your bases.  i just have no more time to read the wedding mags… i’m too busy actually planning a wedding!

– again, the blogs will kill you.  everyone is so concerned with details that really don’t matter.  yes, they’ll matter to you so that is why people justify doing them, but honestly?  most of the stuff?  people will never notice and they just don’t care.  my mother got upset when i told her we weren’t doing programs.  it’s because every wedding we’ve ever been to?  we threw them out.  no one really cares about the names of your attendants or the readings being done.  we have a website, our attendants names are there.  the readings?  we still have no clue what they’ll be anyway.  i really just think it’s a waste of paper.

– the more blogs you read the more DIY seems like a great idea.  you see something and think, oh yah, i could totally make that and it would be so much cheaper.  i have to keep putting myself into check.  yes, we could make those and it would be cheaper.  but it doesn’t change the fact that we don’t need them!  we could make programs that tie in with all of our other paper elements, it would be cute, but honestly i also believe it would still be a waste of paper, ink, and time.  we’ll see… maybe if i get really bored leading up to the wedding.  napkins?  yes, we could totally make our own napkins, and coasters, and drink flags, and you get the point.  at some point you have to take a step back and realize how silly all of this stuff is.

– neither M nor myself are center-of-attention people.  we’re not good with the spotlight, the all-eyes-on-us is going to be interesting.  adding in all of those details with our names and wedding date all over it seems kinda self absorbed to me.  yes, people are there to celebrate us and our relationship together, they’re not there to worship us… which is what i’m starting to see lots of wedding turn into, some kind of shrine to the couple.

– the favors, ah the favors.  it cracks me up whenever i read about, or watch some bride on tv talk about why she did hats or t-shirts.  “we wanted people to have something they could use again, something they wouldn’t throw away”… uh, really?  you think your friends and family want to wear hats or carry canvas bags every day with your monogram and wedding date silk-screened onto it?  i’m sorry, but that just sounds nuts to me.  i’m really not trying to insult people with this, i think the intentions behind the thought are good i’m just not sure they’re entirely thought out.

i’m sure there are things we’re doing for our wedding, elements we’re deciding to splurge on, that other people feel is unnecessary.  i’m sure people would have opinions on everything we’re doing because when it comes to weddings?  everyone seems to have an opinion… let me rephrase that, every woman has an opinion.  some are polite enough not to share them.  i like those ladies best.  i’m just not one of them : )   i would never share a negative opinion to any of my friends about what they’re planning/planned but i do share it with M, and we discuss why we’re so not like that.  it’s not that i think these weddings i disagree with are wrong, they’re just different.  heck, if we had an unlimited budget because of our parents pitching in, or paying for everything, who knows what shenanigans we’d create for our wedding.   but since that’s not our world we’re enjoying all of our options, our budget friendly and some not-so-budget-friendly options.  still, the best part for me is the gifts!  i love putting together the gifts!!  i can’t wait to work on the welcome bags!



~ today i learned… inspired by hockey’s and football’s use of uniform numbers, the Cleveland Indians became the first big league club to experiment with numbered uniforms when they took the field at League Park in Cleveland, on June 26, 1916 ~



  1. I know that in the future I’ll completely understand where you’re coming from. Before I cut myself off from pretend planning, I was all into the drink flags and all that stuff too. But then when I came back to reality and realized that we’ll only afford to have PB&J at our wedding, I knew that stuff like that would likely have to go.

    I really love some of the ideas that people come up with for the party favors. And lots of them I want to do. But in the end, I think that we’ll (even if L doesn’t know it yet) go with something like making a donation to a charity that is important to us instead. I think that’s classy.

    Also, Real Simple Weddings is the one I always flip through when waiting in line at the store. Even if I have flipped through the same one 97 million times now.

    Comment by DanceintheRain — April 6, 2009 @ 9:24 am

  2. I’m with you on this–sometimes too much information is just plaint too much. It’s a stressful time already, why compound it?

    Plus, I’m sure your wedding will be lovely; no need to let some “i have all the time in the world to tell you how to design the most fantastic wedding”-style bloggers and writers rain on your parade. The point is to have fun, and if it isn’t fun, kill it I say.

    Comment by magda — April 6, 2009 @ 10:26 am

  3. Mr. Argument and I are in the midst of our own planning as well for our November wedding date, and I hear you on so many of these things. Especially the favors! Some of my favorite favors from weddings past are those that are edible, or functional, but SANS personalization! Like a neat wine stopper, or cookies!

    DIY does sound like a great idea. And I’m definitely flirting with some ideas, but I hear ya. I think DIY projects seem so deceptively easy that it wouldn’t be that hard to bog yourself down in more than you could handle.

    For example, I was all about making my own tissue paper pomanders, only come to find out, they take SO much time (I can handle a few hours, but SEVERAL? I think I’d die, come time to produce them in bulk.)

    Comment by Ms. Argument — April 6, 2009 @ 10:57 am

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