it’s always like this

April 2, 2009

maybe it’s you

Filed under: a wedding story, family ties, just shoot me — notsojenny @ 9:10 am

while i was in CT my mom had the nerve to call me a “bridezilla”.

beyond my astonishment i was able to nicely inform her that she and my sister have been the only things that have stressed me out with this wedding planning.  they’re the only people that have given me grief about ANY aspect of it and everyone else seems to think i’m pretty laid back about it and not a bridezilla at all.

i mean c’mon…
…. against my better judgement i agreed to let my mother make the flower girl dresses – i knew if i didn’t she would hold that grudge and just be mad at me about it forever, so i said “fine”
… once i agreed to it and she steamrolled me into a pattern that wasn’t my first pick, but was just alright i caved, “fine”
… after going to my own jo-ann fabrics while she was at hers, so we could pick out fabrics together over the phone, and she continued to pick out fabrics i wasn’t crazy about (which apparently she’d already picked out before i even got there) i eventually grunted “fine”
… after pleading with her multiple times to keep in mind that i wanted it to be a short party dress and not a formal flowergirl dress like she continues to describe, and after stating over and over that i want the dress to fall around the knees but she cut the skirt pattern to shin length, i sighed “fine”
… when she went on about having to sew some stupid thing onto the bottom of the ring bearer pillow i told her not to worry about it.  he’s 7, he can just carry it however he wants, it’s not going to be terribly formal anyway.  when she continued to insist that he can’t carry it all “sloppy” i huffed a “fine” (knowing that i will tell him personally on that day to carry it however he wants)

so despite all this, despite the many concession i have made with what i want just so she can have things the way she wants, somehow i’m the bridezilla.   i should have known.  M and i have already made decisions on the elements of our wedding, we know what we want it to be, we have opinions and quite honestly we’re paying for all of it so as far as we’re concerned our opinions matter the most.  and apparently that steps on my mom’s toes.  she constantly pitches ideas to me (mind you most of them i’ve already turned down at least once before) that i’m just not crazy about.  they’re not our style and while it’s a nice idea, i’m sure it would look nice at an event, but we’re just not going to have it at our event.  we already know how we’re going to execute those details, we’re all set.  she can’t deal with this.  and apparently having opinions about ourwedding and wanting it to be more about us & our style makes me a bridezilla.  awesome.  bridezilla i be.

  ** oh yah, AND we considered eloping of just having a civil service but we’ve decided against it knowing that my mom and sister would be the only ones that have a major problem with it… i used to think it was about them really wanting to be there for that event, but now i think it’s more about them wanting to PLAN the event! **


~ today i learned… a lion’s muzzle is like a fingerprint – no two lions have the same pattern of whiskers.~



  1. my sister just got married at the JOP because she thought it would be less stressful….HA!

    man, do i feel for you.

    Comment by dmb5_libra — April 2, 2009 @ 11:30 am

  2. Ok, so I only know about your wedding planning through your posts – obviously. But seriously, you have been one of the most accomodating and considerate brides I have ever heard of. I can’t even imagine what your mom has picked up on to call you a bridezilla. Crazy. It’s definitely her, not you (as far as I can tell from what you share with us. :) )

    Comment by DanceintheRain — April 2, 2009 @ 12:09 pm

  3. good grief! You’re not a bridezilla merely because you aren’t planning your mom’s dream wedding! Lame.

    It sounds like she’s going to be impossible to satisfy; it’s really such a shame that she can’t just be excited for you and M without having to be so controlling. Hang in there! xo.

    Comment by magda — April 2, 2009 @ 2:20 pm

  4. Augh, I could not handle that! Thankfully my mom is being really cool with all of our planning. If she suggest something that I don’t like I can tell her and she’s like, okay, what do you want? It’s actually Boo’s family that’s being a little more, vocal, about what they want. I hate how out of control planning YOUR OWN wedding can get when you listen to everyone else–sometimes you just gotta say “it’s my wedding, deal with it.” And if that makes me a bridezilla, well, some people better just deal ;)

    Comment by stealthnerd — April 2, 2009 @ 3:33 pm

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