it’s always like this

March 23, 2009

here ye, here ye

Filed under: a wedding story — notsojenny @ 9:33 am

okay, i’m not a town crier but i am A crier.

especially when it comes to wedding stuff.  i’m a big fat baby.

i’ve cried over just about every detail of our wedding.

yes, some of it is stress-filled tears, tears of frustration.  these cries are often followed by conversations of just canning it all and eloping.  as much as we both know that would make things easier for us, especially financially, we also know it’s going to cause more drama.  and we want the event.  we really do.  hell, i’m an event planner by heart/trade and i love getting to plan this whole shindig and the only thing that has made it stressful is my family.  not our families, just my family.  (okay, my family and M still being unemployed)

the rest of the tears are happy tears.  happy, love-filled, ecstatic tears.  the tears come down when we make decision on an element of the wedding, i can’t believe we’re really going to have that.  the tears come down when i hear our first dance song on the radio (or when i put the cd in because i haven’t heard it in a week), i can’t believe we will soon be dancing to this song in that moment.    whenever i imagine any thing about our wedding day, the tears come.  i can’t help myself.  i know weddings are emotional, for some more than others, but for some reason the entire wedding planning has been emotional for me.  i know it makes sense but it’s also starting to worry me.  i pretty much work on some wedding element every single day, whether it’s mailing something off, making a purchase, or online/in-store product searching.  and as much as i’ve been involved with this on a daily basis the tears haven’t stopped, they haven’t even subsided.  so what’s the big deal?  what am i concerned about?  

i’m worried that i’m not going to get it all out by the time the wedding arrives . i don’t want to be a sobby tear-stained mess that day.  i have a feeling alot of it will come out the night before, when everyone is there and it all starts to come together.  and we’re even going to see each other before the wedding (more on that later) so that i don’t ugly-cry my way down the aisle.  but i’m honestly worried i’ll be a crying mess in all of our wedding photos.  not sure what can be done about that.  i mean, it’s possible that i’ll be out of tears by then, right?  all cried out?  gosh i hope so.

oh, and speaking of emotions.  i’m trying to hold in my excitement until we sign a contract, but we’re in discussions with a videographer.  a videographer that has been sweeping the wedding blog world and i’m so incredibly filled with excitement that we may get them!  and of course my discussions with them about my relationship with M has only brought on more tears.  i can’t wait to finalize this though!  and when we do i’ll let you know who it is, though i’m sure some of you can guess.  i’ll have a better post on why this is such a big deal to me later.  at some point this blog will go full-on wedding for a month or two  but i’m trying to keep it to a minimum right now.

  

  

~ today i learned…  Wayne’s World was filmed in two weeks ~

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5 Comments »

  1. Maybe you will be out of tears by then. And maybe you won’t. But you’ll probably be so full of excitement and buzz that maybe the emotions will be let out in a different way that day – through a beaming smile. And you’re going to get tons of gorgeous/sweet/cute pics of you and M. I get the same way. And we’re not even engaged. But when we talk about it, not all of the time, but sometimes, I just cry because I know how great it will be.

    I’m excited to hear this videographer news. And you know I’ll still be here when you go full on wedding. :)

    Comment by DanceintheRain — March 23, 2009 @ 9:56 am

  2. Omg, I’m the biggest cry baby ever. I burst into tears when I found *THE* dress. Tears well up when I read about everyone else’s weddings online (the wedding blogs are killing me!). And I’m sooo terrified that I’m going to be a sobbing mess up on the alter! Like, the pretty little tears that BF can dab from my eye are all sweet and adorable. The floodgate of tears with the runny nose AND runny mascara? Not so much! B/c let’s face it–even happy tears can produce an ugly cry!

    Comment by stealthnerd — March 23, 2009 @ 11:22 am

  3. I SOBBED (like heaving cries) while I was getting my hair done just because the whole experience was so overwhelming. Thinking about all the symbolism of my dad walking me down the aisle and everyone staring at me made me lose it. Luckily one of the stylists had a xanax, and I took it. For the rest of the day I was completely normal, having fun and excited instead of freaking out.

    Comment by Jackie — March 23, 2009 @ 12:07 pm

  4. If you fell weepy on your day make sure you have someone in charge of tissues. A friend of mine was a boogery mess and had just one ball of teary boogery tissue to use and reuse! Eww!

    Comment by kerry — March 23, 2009 @ 6:06 pm

  5. Oh, I cry at EVERYTHING… I know I will be a Weepy McWeeperson, and there’s nothing I can do about it… tissues in the bra sound like a good idea!

    Comment by LiLu — March 23, 2009 @ 9:38 pm


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