it’s always like this

January 16, 2009

well this blows

Filed under: gimme a break, just shoot me, maybe it's me — notsojenny @ 3:56 pm

so in case you couldn’t tell i’ve been less than bloggy this week.  i’ve resurrected some drafts and plugged those in rather than writing anything else out.  it’s not because i have nothing to write, because i really really do.  it’s that i’ve wanted to sit down and write post after post about…

the rings i’ve looked at and how we’re so close to choosing one
the last 2 venues we’re looking at and possibly picking a date
all of the details that go along with each venue and how we’re deciding which one
the flowers i want to do and some of the drama that goes along with those
all of the DIY projects i’m eager to get started on and which ones i’m handing off to my mom
all of the ideas M and i have decided on and how the wedding is going to look and all of those little details
visiting my dress and the quotes on the alterations and picking which shoes for the dress (of course i bought more)

… and on and on.  i mean there’s just so much to write about but we haven’t picked a date yet, we’ve been waiting.  waiting to see what happens with one very important detail.  and today the other shoe finally dropped.  M is out of a job.  i knew it was coming but he’s been so hopeful about it that i just really hoped his inclination was right.  so it’s all on hold, everything!  he’s out for drinks with everyone right now so i haven’t even seen him since he gave me the news.  i cried over it this morning.  i couldn’t figure out exactly why at first… but i think it’s just a little panic.  it’s very scary when you don’t know what’s next.  i’m hoping he finds something else very soon, VERY soon.  until then i guess we just play with the cards we’re dealt.  i just know what a pain he is about taking jobs he feels aren’t to his level of expertise, or are $10k less than what he was making (which is why he turned down the offer he received a few months ago… i was secretly pissed about it because i saw this coming).  ugh, i just hope something changes soon.

the whole situation makes me want to cross my arms over the chest and stomp my feet.  why us?!  why now?!?  if we had gotten married last year we would have been able to do whatever we wanted.  even before today the shitty economic state already started taking it’s toll on our wedding.  i know these are bratty thoughts but i’m so mad that it’s all happening NOW!  this was supposed to be OUR year!  until he takes another job we’re not going to move forward on any of the things we were supposed to do next.  i’m not going to have my ring.  we’re not getting our garden party wedding with all of our friends and family traveling into town.  we’re not going on an exotic sunny honeymoon.  we’re not looking at houses to have built.  none of this is happening this year… unless he gets another job right away (which we all know the odds are slim on right now). 

i guess when it comes to the wedding we have a couple of options… wait and do the wedding we’ve been talking about and planning next year, do a small intimate wedding for 30-40 friends and family in our backyard, or have a civil service ceremony and then have the wedding celebration for everyone later.  the worst part?  even with these options we’re still on hold.  we won’t make a decision on what we’re doing for a while… and i’m sure as heck not bringing it up.  we have much bigger things to worry about but i’m quietly whining to myself about what a bummer this is.

i hate PAUSE

  

  

~ today i learned… i’m not always happy about being right ~

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4 Comments »

  1. Oh no, I’m so sorry! I guess just be grateful that you have each other to lean on right now. And now that you’ve moved in you guys have halved your living expenses (in theory).

    Comment by Jackie — January 16, 2009 @ 4:15 pm

  2. Oh my God, this is so awful. Losing a job at any time sucks. It’s obviously even worse in this economy. But after you’ve waited all this time to plan and have your wedding. Well, that’s just spiteful of the universe to do to you. I’m sure it will all work out for the best, because that’s what I believe happens, but I can only imagine what you’re feeling right now.

    Perhaps when you guys talk about it, you can mention that he should think about a job that is a little below his expertise or pays a little less – and take it just for the time being. Maybe you don’t bring it up tonight, but in a few days or something like that. My co-worker’s husband is doing that. He’s working as a “parole officer” for the city schools until something opens up that is more interesting to him and pays a whole lot more. This is definitely not what he wants to be doing right now, but it pays the bills.

    We’re here for you and I’ll cross my fingers he finds somethign soon and you can continue with your gorgeous wedding.

    Comment by DanceintheRain — January 16, 2009 @ 5:05 pm

  3. I am so sorry to hear that! I can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now but I know how much it sucks not to be able to whine to the one person you’d normally whine to (M). If you ever need to vent though, you know where to look!

    Comment by stealthnerd — January 16, 2009 @ 5:29 pm

  4. What a massively disappointing setback. I’m calling you as soon as I’m home from work. HANG IN THERE!

    Comment by magda — January 16, 2009 @ 5:49 pm


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