it’s always like this

December 4, 2008

new ears

Filed under: a wedding story — notsojenny @ 11:45 am

it’s not like imagining marrying M is a new idea for me… anyone who’s read my blog knows that.  but it’s just so crazy that it went from imagination to reality in an instant.  as much as we keep telling people “we’re engaged!” and we talk about wedding stuff it still feels kind of unreal for the most part.  then there are moments.  moments in a day where something happens, or is said, or a thought crosses my mind that really strikes me and i stop and think “wow!  this is really happening!”

it’s those little things.  to start – i don’t like the word ‘fiance’.  whenever i hear it i can’t help but think of Seinfeld.  i wasn’t sure what to call M now if i wasn’t going to use that word so i’ve been greeting him as “husband to be”.  it settled in nicely.  and i LOVE saying it!  then i thought, okay i’m going to overplay that big time so maybe i should lay off it for a while but then i thought, hell no we only get to be engaged for a little while and then he’s my husband for the rest of my life.  i’m fine with using betrothed, first husband, whatever i just haven’t liked the word fiance.

then i was checking my messages the other night and i had one from M.  it said “call your fiance when you get a chance”.  i beamed from ear to ear well into the day today.  it was hearing ithat made me okay with the word now.  it sounded so great coming from him to me.  i can’t really put into words how it hit me, but it was good.  when i called the dress shop i even said “…my fiance…”. 

i forget about my ring most of the day every day now.  it’s just there and then all of the sudden i’m scratching myself with it because i forgot and tried to scratch my back.  but the moment that always surprises me is when i’m looking in the mirror and i catch sight of it.  it makes me smile every time.

then yesterday i was at the salon when my stylist asked “so what’s new?” and then i flashed him the ring.  after his hugs and excitement we started talking about all sorts of details.  and then he squealed out “oh, how are we gonna do your hair?  i can’t wait!”  and again i was beaming.  i love my stylist but sometimes i’m convinced i’m just another paying customer that comes in every 7 weeks.  and while that’s mostly true it also made me realize how excited he is for my wedding too.  so sweet!

now that we are at the point of actually having to book things, make final decision, solidify our list, it all seems so odd.  i mean i know i should have expected this but for some reason, i dunno, i just didn’t really think about the difference between dreaming of a wedding and planning a real live one. it’s just crazy.   it’s nuts because you have to pick one.  one of everything.  one way – cake or cupcakes.  one dress to completely express you and this day.  one place to have your celebration.  one vendor to supply each thing.  one color scheme.  one look with your hair and makeup.  one table setup.  and of course one man for the rest of your life. 

out of all these things that need to be done M is the only ONE thing i know i won’t change my mind about as the date gets closer.  everything else is just a guess.



~ today i learned… a dime has 118 ridges around the edge ~



  1. It is a lot of fun to plan and trust me those decisions com every easily :)

    Comment by littlespoon — December 4, 2008 @ 11:52 am

  2. Aw, I loved this post and I would imagine that the voicemail from M was probably one of the best things you’ve heard, second only to when he asked you. :)

    Comment by DanceintheRain — December 4, 2008 @ 11:54 am

  3. I feel like I’m going to have the same reaction when BF and I get engaged–it’s going to go from the hypothetical “so what if we did this at our wedding” to a legit “so, should we do this at our wedding”. This must be so exciting for you!

    Comment by stealthnerd — December 4, 2008 @ 1:50 pm

  4. SUCH a happy post! I’m smiling just reading it. Glad you’re settling into your new reality : )

    Comment by magda — December 4, 2008 @ 8:46 pm

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