it’s always like this

November 17, 2008

uninvited

Filed under: just shoot me, out of this world — notsojenny @ 12:15 pm

i mentioned my most recent uninvited friends Carl & Bob but you guys weren’t around for all of my previous apt crashers.  in the past (before my blog life) i’ve been stricken with many pests in my places of residence.  like i said before, i’m not sure if it’s something about my pheromones or just because my life is always like this, i just can’t escape the drama. 

let’s see, what sort of creepies have i put up with…

carpenter ants – growing up these bastards would invade our house every summer.  i’m not sure if it’s a new england thing or what but it always seemed like no matter what we did we got them. 

squirrels – freakin squirrels.  we had them in a townhouse i lived in.  we chased one or two out the door with a broom but they seemed to keep coming back.  we eventually found out that they were coming in between the floors and dropping through our laundry room doors.  when we finally boarded this up we were stunned to keep coming home to candy corn everywhere and yucky poop all over.  one day we decided to search the entire place and sure enough we’d apparently trapped one behind our fridge and it was just coming out when we weren’t home and terrorizing our place.  i’ve despised squirrels more than ever since those days.  i aim for them when i’m driving now. (and yes, i’m pretty proud of my photoshopping below)
squirrelcandy

picnic ants – this wasn’t a very big problem but at my last place i did find a small infestation near our balcony.  of course it wasn’t because of the place but more so because of my big slob of a roommate who’d left food smashed into my carpet near the balcony doors.  that was an easy one to resolve.

mice – this apt is the second place (in a row) where i’ve ended up living with mice.  the last place was awful.  we knew they were in the building but they seemed to be covering the apts below and i lived in the penthouse and we never had a problem… until all the floors below us moved out.  suddenly we were infested.  i’m not exaggerating, it was as gross as it sounds.  this is where i learned the lesson of the glue strips.  i do not recommend them, unless you’d like to throw out mice who are squirming and suffering and then clean up all the blood from where they tried to pull their own skin off to get off the trap (it was even nastier than that… i couldn’t find enough bleach).  then we bought the snap traps.  we still didn’t have much luck with finding dead mice in them, it was more finding mice who were partly dead in them.  i’ll never forget the day my vegan/PETA roommate drowned one in a plastic bag to put it out of it’s misery.  but anyway we found a ton.  we caught over 7 mice in a weekend and i was completely creeped out from that point on. 

camelback crickets – i’d never heard of these until i moved down here and i wish i never had.  they’re really scary… not because of their size but because their eyes are on the top of their head so they jump up.  UP!  when you approach them to try to squash them you have no idea which way they’re going to go.  and they can get kinda big too.

house centipede – another lovely i learned about once i moved.  uggh… there’s not much creepier than turning on the lights only to watch these f-ers glide across your ceiling at lightning speed.  they’re fast… really fast!  and when you kill them their legs keep moving for a while, it’s very freaky.  they can get pretty big too.  for a centipede.  uggh.

housecentipede7lr

boxelder bugs & ladybugs – i’ve had these since i moved into this apt.  they come out right when the fall weather really kicks in and is gorgeous.  it’s timed just right to ruin any days you want to open your windows and enjoy the weather.  they come swarming in and then fly into your walls until they die.  the worst is those damn boxelders, i opened the front door the other day only to have them swarm up and it completely freaked me.  maybe i watched oto many of those saturday movies growing up (you know, The Ants, The Bees, etc.) but i suddenly felt like Tippi Hedren with my arms covering my face.  i got to my car and pulled out my camera to take a picture… you still can’t get the magnitude of how many there were but it might give you an idea.

boxelderoct-dress-004

 

it’s really sad that i know how to figure out what all these creatures are.  whatsthatbug has become my bug bible.

that’s all i’ve got today.  i’m still not very interested in writing right now so expect for me to keep going this week by actually finishing and posting all the things that are in my drafts.

  

  

~ today i learned… the symbol on the “pound” key (#) is called an octothorpe. ~

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7 Comments »

  1. Ew ew ew ew ew!!! I shuddered so hard when I saw the centipede picture that it concerned my coworkers. I used to get attacked by centipedes in my basement EVERY NIGHT in the summer when I was a teenager. It’s 11, I’m on AIM, no one else is up and then BOOM–horrifying bug on the wall! I left so many conversations unfinished just trying to get the hell away from those things!

    Comment by stealthnerd — November 17, 2008 @ 1:49 pm

  2. house centipedes are the GROSSEST SCARIEST SUCKERS ALIVE! In my house we are ALLLLLLL afraid of these bad boys – even my husband. We call them crazy bugs and seriously they make us all freak out a little bit! How the HELLLLL do you get rid of these????

    Comment by Kerry — November 17, 2008 @ 2:14 pm

  3. oh. my. god.

    house centipedes are disgusting. i’ve seen a few of them in/around my house. We have roaches on our stoop – we’ve never really seen them in the house but a couple have gotten in but we’re pretty good at spraying to keep them away. I see them all over our neighborhood (dc is a fucking swamp) so i know we’re not disgusting and attracting them as much it is just where we live.

    Comment by Heidi — November 17, 2008 @ 3:08 pm

  4. One of my old apartments was invaded by “moisture ants”. Apparently the roof had issues and there were always puddles on it and the ants loved it. We had ant traps everywhere. It was horrendous. Considering how grossed out I was by ants I can’t imagine having any of the problems you had.

    Comment by Megkathleen — November 17, 2008 @ 3:56 pm

  5. but no scorpions. i would trade ALL those bugs for no scorpions, because i’m getting tired of having a giant heart attack each time i see one; my body can’t take much more.

    Comment by rebecca — November 17, 2008 @ 4:14 pm

  6. Oh man, those crickets are no joke. I used to have them in my basement and I would freak out when I saw one.

    Comment by apollocreed — November 17, 2008 @ 4:28 pm

  7. good gracious you should run a circus side-show out of your house, lady! “Come meet all the scary things living here, past and present, and be glad it’s not you: $2.” Sheesh!

    But seriously, your photoshopping skills? Awesome.

    Of course I’m looking forward to more of your drafts, and hope you get through this week just brilliantly : ) I bet you will. Whatever gets you through the day, right?

    Comment by magda — November 17, 2008 @ 5:51 pm


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