it’s always like this

October 7, 2008

birthcontrol for babies?

Filed under: perfect strangers — notsojenny @ 10:16 am

so i went to my lady doctor the other week and we discussed my options.

first, i had to have my picture taken.  you heard me, they took a picture (of my face, thank you) to put on file.  is there a big problem with people stealing other’s identities and getting papsmears for them?  is it like sending someone else to take your finals?  i don’t get it, i just wish they’d told me before i left my house with NO makeup on and hadn’t brushed my hair since i woke up.  that’s awesome.

so then i waited my 20 minutes in the waiting room because i was on time so naturally i should be punished.  then they weighed me, marveled at the weight difference from what was on my chart a year ago and stuffed me into a room to get nekkid.  i always find it kind of insulting that they think you won’t realize you’ve been waiting almost an hour for a 90second appointment if they move you around to enough areas of the office.  when my doc finally came in the room she gave me the somewhat patronizing “wow,  you look great!”.  um, yah, you probably see 20 people a day and you see me once a year.  you have no clue what i’ve ever looked like and you don’t fool me.  so we finally got past the niceities and got down to business.

i’m sick of spotting for 2 weeks, i’m sick of the mood swings, and i’m VERY sick of the sun’stache.  i need a new method!  she also pointed out that the reason i’ve put on all this weight in the last year is probably beacuse of the pill i’ve been on… how did i never think of that?  so we went through the pill-less options.  and they’re not for me.  i’ve given thought to the IUD but an obgyn friend said she didn’t recommend them.  when i mentioned this to my doc she said “yah well sometimes when they’re inserted they get pushed through the uterus which obviously causes problems.  but that doesn’t happen that often.”  uhh… come again?!?  THROUGH my uterus?!?  no thank you.  and the nuvaring… sounds great, except it comes out with “one swipe of the finger” and all i could think is, mine or his?? (tmi i know)

so she had a new pill and i said that i’d give it a shot, it’s either that or stay on the one i’m on.  she said that the estrogen & progesterone in this are different than loestrin so i shouldn’t get the same side effects.  here’s to hoping the ones it does cause aren’t worse.  so she wrote me a prescription and handed me some samples.  as soon as i got home i decided to google them to see what people were saying about them.  that’s when i noticed it.  right there on the box.


no lie.  chewable birth control!  WTF?!  who are they marketing these to?  i can’t help but think of Joe the Camel.  my goodness.  i’m sorry but if you can’t swallow a pill that’s the size of an apple seed maybe sex isn’t something you’re ready to be involved in.  oh yah, and they’re spearmint flavored.

what will they think of next?!

oh, and the name?  femcon.  as M said, how creative.  i’ll be starting them in about 2wks so i’ll be sure to update you in a few months because i know you’re all very curious about my female issues and birth control habits.



~ today i learned… the bull frog is the only reptile that doesn’t sleep ~



  1. I wonder if the taste as bad as Flintstones vitamins?

    Comment by littlespoon — October 7, 2008 @ 10:20 am

  2. FemCon ~ does that mean it’s a feminist con? or a robot

    thank goodness we don’t have that in the UK yet

    Comment by LizSara — October 7, 2008 @ 10:37 am

  3. they need to have gumi-candy birth control…that would be awesome. a few years ago i got an ear infection and i asked if i could have the cool bubble gum flavored liquid antibiotic from my days as a child and they wouldn’t. i argued with the doctor for a good 10 minutes because there was no difference in the drug.

    why can’t adults get the same cool tasty methods of drug deliverence methods as children?

    Comment by dmb5_libra — October 7, 2008 @ 10:38 am

  4. I had my recent annual trip a few weeks ago as well. I don’t remember what we were talking about, but I had the same reaction as you when your doctor said you looked good. She said something like, ‘oh yes, i remember that from your last exam.’ Uh, no you don’t. You remember it from reading your notes on my chart, not because you remember me.

    I think chewable bc is kind of weird. i mean, they’re so small, is it even possible to chew? haha.

    I know a few people on the nuvaring. they all love it. but frankly, i find it strange and the thought of it coming out when it is not supposed to freaks me out. And this whole pushing through your uterus thing? that’s the first i’ve heard, and if i had been considering it, that would be a total deal breaker.

    Comment by DanceintheRain — October 7, 2008 @ 11:52 am

  5. Ugh, birth control is the biggest hassle ever. I got put on a pill last year that had me nauseous and depressed for the entire time I was on it. I literally couldn’t get off the couch for over a week. It was terrible…I wish there was a less, side-effecty method. When you have to trade mood swings for, well, WORSE mood swings, something is wrong.

    Oh, and @ littlespoon–you really hate flinstone vitamins?! i love those!

    Comment by stealthnerd — October 7, 2008 @ 1:07 pm

  6. I’d worry I’d get the pill stuck in my teeth and dampen its effectiveness. How do you chew something that small?

    My doctor was always pushing the nuvaring, too, but it just makes me uncomfortable to think about. Same sort of fears as getting stuck in teeth, I think–I like to know that it’s going one place, is going to get absorbed, and isn’t going to move around or get misdirected. Maybe I’m being too cautious, but is there a better thing to be cautious about? I think not.

    I’m anxious to hear how it works out! Also, I hate waiting rooms. I hate that being on time means nothing. Booo.

    Comment by magda — October 7, 2008 @ 2:37 pm

  7. […] took one of the tests in my cabinet.  negative.  hmm, okay.  no big deal.  i just started these kid friendly pills so i figured maybe that was it.  until the days started to pass and i didn’t feel good.  i […]

    Pingback by i swear they’re a little bigger right now « it’s always like this — November 24, 2008 @ 7:55 pm

  8. […] the 20lbs i put on in one year.  so last time i went to my lady dr. i receive a new pill, the chewable mint-flavored onefor little kids.  it’s been 6 months now and i’m wishing i could just go off it and get […]

    Pingback by greener grass « it’s always like this — March 11, 2009 @ 1:03 pm

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