it’s always like this

June 21, 2008

maybe i’m amazed

Filed under: maybe it's me, wonder years — notsojenny @ 11:17 pm

it’s amazing…

  • how one day you feel totally normal and then suddenly things are all wrong and you have no idea which way is up or if that’s even the direction you’re supposed to be heading
  • that time can change so many things.  whether it’s minutes and hours or months and years.  from healing wounds to making you question everything you’ve ever know about a person or yourself
  • that right when you feel like you need a break, and you happen to have a trip planned, you think it’s perfect timing.  and it’s just the getaway you need to sort things out
  • how during that getaway all you end up doing is ignoring the problem and not taking advantage of the time, and listening hearts and ears, to really sort it out
  • that when a three year old asks you “when are you getting married?” you have to choke back the tears to respond “why do you ask that?” and when the answer is “because i want to know when you’re going to have a baby” then suddenly the tears are even harder to hold
  • how tiring it is to spend the day at the beach when you’re with toddlers… the most fun ever, but oh so exhausting
  • how something as simple as stealing away from everyone and taking a few hours to shop at Marshall’s Homegoods (heaven) can bring you right back and suddenly you’re YOU again
  • how time flies when you’re missing out on things you wish you weren’t and when you’re somewhere when you wish you were somewhere else
  • that i often want to be somewhere i’m not… when i left i just wanted to get away from M for a while, clear my head, and now all i want is to be home with him
  • how taking a pregnancy test, and getting the answer you knew all along, is more relaxing than a big frozen margarita on a deck bar on a gorgeous saturday afternoon with your girlfriends from 10years ago
  • how talking to someone that you haven’t know that long (and possibly through blogging) can help you discuss things that you don’t even feel like talking about with your oldest friends.  it’s so wonderful to have a fresh perspective and someone who just gets it.
  • how much easier it is to make lists than put together thoughts into a cohesive post

  

  

~ today i learned… that the Caville Blanc apple has the most vitamin C of all apple varieties. ~

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3 Comments »

  1. Hang in there Sweetie. I am in your corner.

    Hope you had fun in CT.

    Comment by penelope — June 22, 2008 @ 10:16 am

  2. I feel like we’re all in some crazy funk right now that’s unavoidable and hard to crawl out of.

    Comment by littlespoon — June 23, 2008 @ 8:47 am

  3. What a list! And I feel you on so, so much of this. Hang in there. Life seems to be full of more and more of these bumpy roads, where everything loses certainty, but still I think we’re on the right path. We’ll make it. Really, though? When did life get so complicated? They definitely didn’t include any of this info when they made being grown up seem so glamorous.

    Comment by magda — June 23, 2008 @ 12:38 pm


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