it’s always like this

February 18, 2008

me no write good

Filed under: perfect strangers — notsojenny @ 11:20 am

i am not a writer.  i don’t pretend to be a writer.  and i feel bad for people who expect that anyone who blogs is.  i read blogs of a few writers, and they write beautifully.  i read blogs of a few people who aren’t writers by trade, but who still write beautifully.  and while i wish i was one of those beautiful writers, i am not.  so i can only do what i know.  and i know how to think.  i think alot!  sometimes i think too much.  and i think about everything.  so my writing tends to follow my thought process… which is very patchy and scattered all over the place.  when i sit here to write a post i usually have something in mind.  something that happened recently.  something i’m thinking about.  something that bugs me.  something i really like.  just something.  but i often find myself writing enormous posts, and i can’t make sense out of them so i just hit save.  this lets me walk away and come back to it another time.  taking that break often allows me the clarity to re read that post and realize that it’s really about 4 posts in one.  so sometimes i’ll go back and break out the thoughts and let each one be their own post.  but sometimes i’m not that motivated.  so there wlil be plenty of times where i don’t proof a post and i just let it go.  i write and hit publish.  not caring how many times i leave a subject in the middle of a thought.  not caring how many times i jump around and then jump back.  but mostly (probably most painfully for any readers) not caring how many commas or ellipses i use.  somehow i think with an overuse of commas.  not sure why, i just always have.  i’ve become fairly good at going back and removing about half of the commas i originally put in but it’s usually still too many.  but the ellipses… well… i can’t help myself.  so i apologize for anyone who feels very strongly about the english language and may be anal retentive about it’s usage… but then again, they probably stopped reading with the first post of mine they saw.  with that being said…. onto today’s post

i had my first full pilates class scheduled for saturday morning.  i spent late friday night whining about how i didn’t want to go.  when the alarm went off saturday morning i laid in bed whining about how i didn’t want to go.  it i’d been alone i may have thought of a good excuse.  but M pushed me out of bed and convinced me to get my butt in gear.  so i pulled on my new workout wear, one of the reasons i was excited to finally book classes, it gave me an excuse to go shopping for this gear.  i grabbed my mat and a bottle of water and was shoved out the door.  the whole way there i felt like i wanted to turn around and go back to bed.  but i just kept thinking of the fee you get charged if you don’t show up.  but for whatever reason i just didn’t want to go.  i guess i was afraid.  it was like the first day of school all over again.  i felt like i was going to be the only one who didn’t know what i was doing.  and that everyone else was going to know each other and no one would talk to me.  as soon as class started i felt better.  i was in between a guy who was a pilates freak (wonderful) and a woman who hadn’t been to this class either.  she’d had more private lessons than me, but she didn’t know anyone.  and it turns out she lives down the street from me.  i tried to talk her into joining the women’s club for our neighborhood.  and on the other side of her was another girl who had only been to one class before.  so i felt so much better.  i relaxed.

but during class i got called out by the instructor alot for not doing things right.  i’m not sure if it’s because i was being too honest but it just happened.  every time we finished something and she asked if anyone felt it in their ____ (whatever body part you weren’t supposed to be using), i raised my hand.  whatever.  i wanted to learn how to do it right, so i’d cop to doing it wrong.  no one else ever raised their hands.  so either they have way more control in their muscles than i do or they lie.  i left class feeling good and knowing that next week i’m not going to dread it so much.  then saturday night came.  my muscles (especially the ones i didn’t know i had and apparently aren’t in very good shape) seized up.  my stomach killed.  my back hurt.  and i could barely lift my legs.  and it didn’t get much better on sunday.  it seemed to flatten out through my body a little more.  last night M was making me laugh and it hurt so much.  my abs are still recovering today… and i’m going out to get a thicker mat.  i learned the hard way that the pilates mats and yoga mats are different thicknesses for a reason.  my lunch goal today is to buy the thickest mat i can find.  if i could fit one of those folding gymnastics mats into my car that’s what i’d get. 

i should probably start getting ready since there a quite a few things i want to find today and i’m going to attempt to do it all at lunch.

  

  

~ today i learned… that most billboards in the US are 14′ x 18′ ~

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2 Comments »

  1. I always hate when I work out and I don’t feel that sore afterwards. But the next morning I wake up and fee like I can’t move to get out of my bed. That right there is enough to make me not want to work out.

    Comment by penelope23 — February 18, 2008 @ 11:52 am

  2. Pilates is so sneaky. You have no clue it’s going to hurt like that b/c you really don’t think you’re doing much. Sneaky, sneaky pilates. I’m glad you went though!

    Comment by littlespoon — February 18, 2008 @ 12:02 pm


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