birthcontrol for babies?

so i went to my lady doctor the other week and we discussed my options.

first, i had to have my picture taken.  you heard me, they took a picture (of my face, thank you) to put on file.  is there a big problem with people stealing other’s identities and getting papsmears for them?  is it like sending someone else to take your finals?  i don’t get it, i just wish they’d told me before i left my house with NO makeup on and hadn’t brushed my hair since i woke up.  that’s awesome.

so then i waited my 20 minutes in the waiting room because i was on time so naturally i should be punished.  then they weighed me, marveled at the weight difference from what was on my chart a year ago and stuffed me into a room to get nekkid.  i always find it kind of insulting that they think you won’t realize you’ve been waiting almost an hour for a 90second appointment if they move you around to enough areas of the office.  when my doc finally came in the room she gave me the somewhat patronizing “wow,  you look great!”.  um, yah, you probably see 20 people a day and you see me once a year.  you have no clue what i’ve ever looked like and you don’t fool me.  so we finally got past the niceities and got down to business.

i’m sick of spotting for 2 weeks, i’m sick of the mood swings, and i’m VERY sick of the sun’stache.  i need a new method!  she also pointed out that the reason i’ve put on all this weight in the last year is probably beacuse of the pill i’ve been on… how did i never think of that?  so we went through the pill-less options.  and they’re not for me.  i’ve given thought to the IUD but an obgyn friend said she didn’t recommend them.  when i mentioned this to my doc she said “yah well sometimes when they’re inserted they get pushed through the uterus which obviously causes problems.  but that doesn’t happen that often.”  uhh… come again?!?  THROUGH my uterus?!?  no thank you.  and the nuvaring… sounds great, except it comes out with ”one swipe of the finger” and all i could think is, mine or his?? (tmi i know)

so she had a new pill and i said that i’d give it a shot, it’s either that or stay on the one i’m on.  she said that the estrogen & progesterone in this are different than loestrin so i shouldn’t get the same side effects.  here’s to hoping the ones it does cause aren’t worse.  so she wrote me a prescription and handed me some samples.  as soon as i got home i decided to google them to see what people were saying about them.  that’s when i noticed it.  right there on the box.

chewable.

no lie.  chewable birth control!  WTF?!  who are they marketing these to?  i can’t help but think of Joe the Camel.  my goodness.  i’m sorry but if you can’t swallow a pill that’s the size of an apple seed maybe sex isn’t something you’re ready to be involved in.  oh yah, and they’re spearmint flavored.

what will they think of next?!

oh, and the name?  femcon.  as M said, how creative.  i’ll be starting them in about 2wks so i’ll be sure to update you in a few months because i know you’re all very curious about my female issues and birth control habits.

  

  

~ today i learned… the bull frog is the only reptile that doesn’t sleep ~

not to worry

it’s not just you.  i’m sick of my mood swings too.  sometimes i think i won’t bitch about it anymore, but then i remember that that’s why i started this.  i had a bad day on friday.  i had a good long heaving crying session in the shower.  i haven’t doubted him/us in a long time and it was hard.  but the minute i saw him i knew how i felt.  i couldn’t figure out why i doubted it at all.

i started a million posts this weekend.  unfortunately they were all in my head and as soon as i got to my computer i forget each and every one.

so here’s a good ‘ol fallback style list…

• DSW is good… or bad.  i returned a pair of shoes i bought online at the local store.  they told me how much money i was getting back on my card and i started to argue with the girl at the counter.  she just didn’t get it so she called over a manager.  i kept trying to tell them i had used a coupon when i purchased the shoes so i didn’t pay that much for them.  they insisted that they had to give me back the full price… there was no way to override it in the system.  whatever.  i made $6 in that return but now i feel perpetually guilty.
• M has agreed to check out locations and start the planning.  ring or no ring.  we’re getting this show on the road.
• i contemplated many career changes and even going back to school this weekend.  we thought of many businesses that we should be starting.  we have yet to move forward on any of these things.
• i discovered that UPop is back on the air!  but was it really necessary for Avril Lavigne to cover The Scientist??  i’m not even a coldplay fan and found this totally absurd
• i’ve come to terms with my fleeting fascinations.  i get involved in something and then decide “this is what i’m meant to do!  i’m going to do THIS for the rest of my life!”  uhh… yah, until i start doing something else next month and come to the same conclusion.
• i’ve alway known that Cheesecake Factory served a great chicken salad sammy, then i found out they had a mean strawberry shortcake and now i know they have an awesome guacamole!  who would have thunk it?  now if only there wasn’t an hour wait any time any day
• i have 2 apples at M’s and i’m kicking myself for forgetting them.  oh how i could go for one right now.
• i’m waiting for my sister to send me pictures from the trip so i can do my post about wedding dresses… yay!

hope everyone had a good weekend!

  

  ~ today i learned… an average yawn is six seconds long. ~

fry-day

• has anyone else ever been in such denial about their size that their generic spanx exploded?  okay, so it didn’t break off into a million pieces when i inhaled but the seams definitely did rip when i went to take them off.  uggh… i guess i should just go in and get the large after all. 
• it finally happened to me!  i’ve been moved to the New facebook.  i’m blah about it.  yah it blows but i’ll figure it out eventually.  i just keep reminding myself that i detested fb entirely when i first joined it and came to love it so i’m sure hoping this will be the same. 
• the re-released Frankenberry, Count Chocula, and BOOberry for halloween this year!!  it’s so exciting.  i stocked up.  not sure about you guys but my stores never have these anymore, yet i look every time.  so when i saw them in a display i filled my cart!  i am bringing them on my trip too!
• i’m not really packed or anything and have to leave today.  i’ve got my packing list done except for my daily outfits.  i have a hard time packing for weather that can change any minute.  stupid rain. 
• what is appropriate to wear when you meet your teen idols?  no, not my man KC, but NKOTB.  and i WILL totally post a picture
• i’m going to cry if it rains the entire weekend and we can’t go to Six Flags.  i’ve been looking forward to it since i hatched the plan in June.  and we didn’t go to busch gardens at all because we’d be going in CT.  i may shed some tears over this… i’m bringing sneaks just in case!
• um, yah, caught a clip of super magician (read heavy with sarcasm) David Blaine’s finale and… ughh… how embarrassed was he!  love it.
• i think i may be the only girl i know who looks forward to her “annuals”.  i don’t know why i do… maybe it’s the reassurance i get knowing nothing is wrong down there, or maybe it’s because i like talking to my doc, i dunno but i’m excited for this afternoon.  i’m really hoping that the discussion to get me off this pill and onto something pill-less is successful.
• apparently i DO look good in trumpet dresses.  i fell in love with them last night.  the dress i had in my head?  not so hot on me, pretty blah actually.  i also broke the ONE rule i swore i’d stick to… don’t try on anything you can’t afford.  i’m officially smitten with jim hjelm.  too bad i’m poor.
• i can’t wait to see my nieces!! 
• i can’t wait to dole out gifts tomorrow morning and see whose got my birthday gifts ready to give me!
• i’m wearing wellies today and bringing them on my trip.  it’s the only positive i can find in these craptastic rain filled weekends.

have a great weekend everyone!  i’ll probably be back next thursday. 

  

  

~ todayyesterday i learned… the word “ort”.  it means a scrap or morsel, a bit leftover. ~

oh the ’stache

okay, so this is for all those people ending up at my site wondering about LC’s ’stache.

it’s a little something i like to refer to as the sun’stache.  it’s not caused by hair.  there’s no dark hair there at all… but you can only see that in person.  it’s a hyper melanin pigmentation (or something like that) called melasma.  it’s not usually a genetic thing when you see it on 20 something girls, though i’m sure there are some people out there for whom it actually is genetic.  in girls of this age it’s normally caused by a reaction from birth control.  the extra estrogen hormones create an excess of melanin which in turns darkens the skin pigment in certain areas when it’s exposed to sunlight… normally where men DO grow excess facial hair, above the lip and in the sideburns area.  so the tanner you become, the more noticeable the spots become.  unfortunately there isn’t much that can be done to fix it once it starts.  the options quickly become   a) go off the pills   b) try to lighten the skin in those areas with a lotion that has hydroquinone (a bleaching agent) and glycolic acid in it  but it’s not hte most effective method at all as it may not make any noticeable difference and these creams ain’t cheap when they have a decent amount of these chemicals in them.

how do i know all this?  well last summer i started to see my own sun’stache appear and i freaked out.  i looked in the mirror under the best lighting and every angle possible to make sure that there was no hair there.  after checking with my Dr. sure enough she explained it to me.  once winter came and my tan faded it faded too… i completely forgot about it until this summer when i started getting tan again.  i used the creams last year, didn’t see much of a difference.  some Dr.s will say that you should change birth control to make it go away, claiming that the lower estrogen doses will help you avoid this.  i can call bullshit on that with 100% certainty as when i developed this i’d just started on one of the lowest estrogen dose pills out there.  and with all the pills i’ve been on before i never had this happen. 

so hopefully LC is thinking about what she’s going to do to fix hers too.  as for me?  i’m requesting a new pill-less method of birth control this week.

maybe the Today sponge? anyone? (c’mon seinfeld fans)

  

  

~ today i learned…the letters KGB stand for Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti… translated to Committee for State Security ~

TFIF

i didn’t post yesterday.  i knowhtat  when i was going to sleep wednesday night i started writing a post in my head, something had happened and i was gonna blog about it.  then i woke up thursday morning and could not for the life of me remember what it was.  i thought on the entire drive into work.  i pulled up my “write new post” page multiple times throughout the day but i was blank.  i had just had nothing to say.

i thought about a post dedicated to how i’ve realized a connection between my singing voice and my period and wondering if professional singers get this too?  does Madonna schedule her tour around her menstrual cycle?  because i’m no celine dion, anyone who knows me will vouch for that, but that doesn’t stop me from belting out any song i know (even some i don’t know) at the top of my lungs.  this usually happens at home when i’m alone, or even in the car.  in the car by myself there’s usually a little shoulder action to jazz it up.  actually when i started singing in the car with M i knew i really loved him… that was before we ever started dating too.  anyhow, i was going to comment on the fact that the week before my period i seem to be able to carry a tune better than any other week… at least it sounds like it in my head.  and then the week of my period?  oh heaven help us all.  it’s bad.  and for me to say that?  i’ve heard my voice when i used to tape record myself singing, i can’t imagine it’s much different 20 years later but i just don’t have a tape recorder to find out.  anyway, that was going to be my post.

but instead i’ve been cleaning.  and making lists.  lists of what still needs to be cleaned.  lists of what to pack for my big trip to CT and my meet & greet with NKOTB (that’s right… eat your heart out!)   i’m going to pick up my car from the shop in a little bit (they finished it a day early!) and then i’m coming back to finish cleaning.  tonight i pick up an awesome friend from the train station and then the fun girl’s weekend will commence.  i got really excited last night when i decided to take her out for scungili when she gets here… oh i hope she likes scungili!  and then when she leaves M will be back in town… then next week i have 2 lunches with friends, 1 night of drinks to catch up with an old roommate, and a meeting for my women’s club function that i volunteered for (there will be wine… that’s the only reason i really go!).  then i have my annual and a couple hours later i leave for CT.   all this and i’m still supposed to be getting work done too. 

things are getting crazy.  hopefully they won’t leave me blank but instead with plenty of stories and inspiration.

thank fuck it’s friday

have a great weekend everyone!!
  

  

~ today i learned…horses and rabbits cannot vomit (still nothing compares to the frog )~

factimus maximus

everyone has some random facts about themselves, and things they do.  sometimes it’s hard to tell anyone because you assume they’ll label you as crazy.  after reading through comments left on other blogs i’ve learned that some of the stuff i do, stuff that i think would get me labeled, is stuff alot of other people do too!  so as a community service i’m going to list out some of the things about me that i know at least one other person out there is afflicted with too so we all don’t feel quite so alone in our weirdness…

- i read my mail in the bathroom.  it’s the first thing i do when i walk in the door.  i’ll read an entire magazine or catalog just sitting in there.  i guess it’s just my way of decompressing after a long day.  i find it so relaxing to just spend time sitting in there… even when i don’t have to go.

- i talk to myself.  all the time.  out loud.  i have entire conversations with me.  i think know i got this one from my mom (along with many others).  i’ll talk about my day, bitch about something, i’ll have an entire conversation.  when i had dogs i used to talk to them.  i always assumed they were in agreeance with me though.  if i ever thought they disagreed and we had a conversation about it then it might be time to call it quits.

- i know this one will gross most people out but… i smell my socks.  not in a freaky disturbing way.  i just smell my socks when i take them off.  i don’t even know why.  i guess it’s just a measure of how active my day was or something.

- i despise the sound of whistling.  i’m not sure when i began to dislike it, but i do.  and whenever i hear someone do it, it makes my skin crawl.  i basically scream inside my head.

- i’m always paranoid that i didn’t flush.  i’ll go back and check multiple times.  of course it’s only gotten worse since that one time i checked only to see that i actually hadn’t.  it’s just so routine to get up, turn around, and flush that i forget whether i’ve done it or not.  when i’m out in public i stress about it for a long time once i get back to my seat.  i try to envision those last seconds and whether i remember doing it or not.

- my mother drives me insane.  so maybe this isn’t an unusual thing but the woman is crazy!  i love her more than anything in this world though, nothing will ever mean more to me than her, but after about an hour with her i need a break.  she’s too intense.  and god do i hate being so far away from her.

- i keep stock on pregnancy tests.  i’ve always taken them when a relationship was in trouble.  i don’t know if it’s because i’d get nervous that something terrible was going to happen or if it’s because i hoped that if i was it would save the relationship.  no matter what, i’m so not ready for kids and glad that something like that never changed a relationship from where it was headed.  i’m right where i’m supposed to be.

- i check my email waaay too often.  and i’m always hoping there’s going to be something amazing in there.  and i’m a little bummed every time there isn’t.

- i set my alarm clock ahead by a random amount of time.  i don’t calculate it because i don’t want to know exactly how much.  but i set my alarm to make up for that time.  if i want to get up at 7:30 and think my clock is about 30 minutes fast, i’ll set it for 8.  defeats the point, i know.  my car is set fast too… i have no clue how fast but i think it’s approaching an hour.

- i don’t like walking around in bare feet.  i take my shoes off the second i get home but have to have socks or slippers on immediately.  i go to sleep with my socks on, but get too hot and take them off in my sleep.  whenever i change the sheets i find miscellaneous socks strewn about.

- i laugh when i’m nervous.  job interviews, funerals, dates, whatever.  it’s like an awful tick, i hate it.

- i watch too much Law & Order on some days.  then i have a hard time leaving the house or staying in it.  i called my boyfriend up in tears once because i was convinced someone was in my place.  turns out i had just watched an all day marathon.

- i glance in the mirror too many times a day.  especially if i think i look good, i like to take it in on those days to make up for hte days when i can’t stand to look in the mirror.  i guess i’m vain, not completely convinced though but probably am.

- i’m so anal retentive about being prepared for anything.  i play out entire conversations in my head over and over.  i even write them out sometimes.  i have to prepare for every possible outcome.

- i don’t like people seeing my ears.  they stick out and i hate the way they look uncovered.  if i pull my hair back i use bobbypins to hold the sides over my ears, i wear a fleece headband that covers my ears when i go running so i can put my hair up in a full ponytail… even in the summer.  i’d rather go out of the house without makeup than with my ears showing.  (i do have to admit this has gotten better since i’ve been in the relationship i’m in… i don’t care as much about how i look to others)

- i get irritated when people say that they look like someone famous… especially when they look nothing like them.  it’s one thing for people to tell you that you look like someone, it’s another to insist you look like someone fabulous.

- i am obsessive about picking at my cuticles, fingernails & toenails.  i like to split the nails and then file them down.  i like to pick at my cuticles with a safety pin and then cut them off like i’m supposed to.  it’s not very ladylike and it’s probably one step away from being as gross as biting toenails but whatever.

i’m sure i’ve mentioned some of these before.  and i’m sure there are many more. 

  

  

~ today i learned… the sandwich is named after the 4th Earl of Sandwich to facilitate simultaneous eating and gambling (a man after my own heart!) ~