GWMS

Guilty White Man Syndrome

it’s an epidemic.

i mention this because i went to the post office yesterday.  i walked up to the stamp machine in the lobby only to see those tacky “forever” stamps as the only option.  knowing full well they have much better looking stamps, and being as vain as i am that it transfers to the look of my outgoing mail, i opened the lobby door and got in line.  there were two people working the counter.  a slow older man and a young chipper woman.  a black woman.  (i say this as a fact and not because i walked in and thought “oh look, a black lady!”.  trust me, this detail comes into play).

so when it was finally my turn i sauntered up to the counter and the exchange went a little something like this…

USPS woman: hello.  how are you?

notsojenny: great.  how are you?

USPS: great.  how can i help you today?

nsj: i just need to get a book of stamps. 

USPS: okay.  do you like these new stamps? holds up sheet of ugly sketched heart stamps

nsj: looks at them, apparently with ‘a face’

USPS: no.  okay, how about these?  drops another sheet of a different ugly heart stamp on the counter.  hmm, okay, what about these?  yet another ugly sheet with an indiscernible pattern

njs: still looking at them with ‘the face’

USPS: okay.  let’s go with the forever stamp. pulls out a book of them and puts them on the counter

nsj: yah, i guess they’ll have to…

USPS: interrupting - pulls a sheet out from the drawer  or how about our black cinema stamp series?

nsj: squinting to see what the stamps look like while replaying what she just said because i didn’t really catch it     umm.  yaaahhh, those.

end transaction.

i obviously suffer from GWMS like 80% of the population.  i felt that if i declined the black heritage celebrating stamps i’d be viewed as racistand immediately cast aside in the eyes of the nice USPS woman.  so i bought them.  i didn’t have enough time to think of a response that said “no.  but i really do support your people.  black power.”  because us whities?  we have this inane urge to always let people of other races/ethnicities know that we support them.  it’s partly out of fear of being judged and partly out of fear of being beaten up (okay, that just sounded really racist but i am New England white… i can’t help myself.  i view all other races as “physically tougher”).  for some reason it’s a knee-jerk reaction for most white people to show their support as soon as we’re near someone who’s different, we can’t control this stuff.

the moral of this story, racial tension made me buy stamps i didn’t want.     

  

~ today i learned… the Hawaiian alphabet consists of only 12 letters ~

i happen to LIKE clothes

what’s with the freakin’ trend??

seriously!!

am i the ONLY girl out there who hasn’t taken nudie shots?

i keep hearing about all these whorey little girls who are overtaken by their inferred stardom and make terrible decisions because they have parents that forget that they’re not just a business venture but a CHILD too.  all of these girls have nude or scantily clad photos floating about.  yes, they took them for their friends, boys, whatever but they got out to the public.  it’s bad enough that these girls are making the ridiculous decisions to do this but what i don’t get is why.  they’re not sexy just slightly revealing photos.  they’re full frontal shots.  or shots with undies & a bra.  and half of them are being taken on cell phones  (i’m not even going to get into the fact that some of these girls are not remotely attractive to a normal person).  i don’t get it.  what 14yr old girl is not insecure about her body?  i don’t think it’s a bad thing to be comfortable with sexuality but really?  you’re willing to put your 14yr old naked self preserved into someone’s memory forever?

i just don’t get it.  granted, if i had to choose to put onto film my now body or my 14yr old body, i’d probably go with the latter… bodies just look so much tighter at that age, unfortunately there’s no curves.  anyway, whenever i hear anyone talk about this topic (tv, radio, mags, etc) i keep hearing people say “yah, but we’ve all got these.  they’re just famous.” and all i can think is “NO!  We Don’t ALL Have These!”   people go on to talk about videos too.  again, NO, We Haven’t ALL Made Nudie Videos!  is it just me??  am I the crazy one here?

because with all of my life lessons and all of my mistakes (believe me i’ve made more than my share) i’ve never thought sending naked pics of myself to ANYONE was a good idea.  and it’s not because i’m a sexual prude.  trust me, i’ve done things in that arena that make me blush just thinking about.  but the thought of something that permanent?  i think it’s just nuts.

i personally know how much better i (and most people) look in clothes.  not because of an unattractive body, but because you can choose what to show.  what to camouflage.  what to accentuate.  i don’t think naked parts are nearly as sexy.  maybe i’m more conservative than i care to believe.

  

  

~ today i learned… 25% of a human’s bones are in its feet ~

not engaged

i just want to make this status clear.  i’m not being sarcastic i just don’t want anyone to read this and think i’m delusional crazy.  and if you’re the type of person who can’t stand to read about girls who plan weddings before they’re engaged you’ll want to stop reading here.  it’s not going to get any better for you.

now, for the rest of you, i’m totally one of those girls.  and as i’ve gotten closer to actually possibly maybe getting married to the love of my life i’ve only gotten worse.  i mean every girl has visions and ideas of what their wedding day will look like from the time they’re little, right?  of course this changes over time.  if i’d gotten married in my early twenties… well let’s just say i’m happy i didn’t.  i mean the dress would have been unflattering, i probably would have fallen victim to some suffocating color scheme, and god only knows which loser i would have married.  but as i’ve grown up the ideas and visions i have for that special day have grown up too.  for the past few years i’ve had a definite style that i hope would translate into that day.  i feel like that blessing comes with getting older, it’s part of knowing what looks good on you and what you can and can’t pull off.  so anyway, back to the topic at hand… as M and i have gotten into a relationship that’s become more and more serious i’ve started thinking about all of these ideas in a different way.  a practical way.  and now that we’re closer to it being a reality, going over these ideas scares me a little.  once i do actually have to plan a wedding i’m totally going to freak out.  i already know that.  the idea of having to take all my ideas and visions and turn them into a reality will set me on the edge until i start solidifying plans and putting down payments.

you’re probably wondering where i’m going with this, i promise i’ll get there.  M has been guiding me more and more to believe that we will be engaged.  in the future.  i assume the near future, but it’s always anyone’s guess with him.  the first time he led me in this direction was last august, so who knows.  but as this is seeming like more of a reality i’ve already started to freak a little.  for many reasons, but this post is about the timing and the dress.  now let me make it clear, again, i’m NOT engaged.  but if we were to get engaged anytime soon we’d be planning a wedding for next spring/summer.  i’m sure some people will think, why the rush?  well, i personally think, why wait?  if it were up to me i’d probably say let’s hit the JoP the following day so we can start making babies even sooner.  but i know that my mother and (mainly) my sister would be heartbroken to not be at my wedding.  hence, we must have an actual wedding.  and august through january is out every year because of college football season (go hokies!).  and i’m not willing to wait until 2010. 

so add the imaginary wedding timing with the imaginary warm weather dress i have in my head and it all works.  here’s the point of this post - i heard that the filene’s basement bridal sale in DC is coming up on Aug 1.  mind you, i’m SO not engaged, and not even sure that i will be by that date.  and i feel kind of like an ass for even thinking about it because i refuse to try on a single wedding dress or buy a wedding magazine until it’s official, but when i start to think about how little time i’d have to buy a dress i means that i’ll have less time to bargain shop.  and there’s nothing i like better than a bargain.  again, back to the point, does anyone know if there will be another one in DC this year?  or is this it?  because i really want the huge discount possibility that comes with this event, but it’s so freakin soon.  are there any DC brides that are going or know about the schedule??

if i were already engaged i’d definitely be hitting up the DC area on 8/1, without a doubt, but i’m hoping there’s another one later in the year.  heck, there’s a good chance that if i were already engages i’d be flying to LA this weekend for the Lhuillier sample sale.  anyone out there want to pick me up my dream dress on sunday?  i’ll pay for shipping : )

  

  

~ today i learned… a newborn kangaroo is about 1″ in length ~

tales from the tummy

um, yah, so sometimes when i’m sitting down and i see my stomach, with as many folds as a catholic schoolgirl’s skirt, i get mad about the fact that i now gain weight.  and while it’s all been within the last year, it’s still hard to get used to.  i’ve never had to worry about a belly sticking out before.  i’ve never felt that weird wet feeling when you step out of the shower and your butt (for those of us with flat butts) touches your leg… that sounds gross i know, but am i the only one who’s experienced this?  it’s so strange.  i’m in no way fat but i’m fatter than i’ve ever been.  and i need some serious shaping and toning tout de suite. 

when i just sit back and think about it i can’t figure out what’s different.  how can i be gaining weight so rapidly?  then i look at my typical day and my eating habits it includes –

in the morning i eat one container of yogurt on the drive to work
drink one cup of white peach/cran juice also during the drive
snack on a handful of almonds at my desk
eat an almond (or choc. chip) granola bar because i’m hungry and it’s not quite lunch time

lunch time!  eat one stouffers frozen meal (register my points online : ) 
add an accompanying snack, usually potato chips
and a soda to drink

post lunch snacking is where it gets bad…
a couple of cookies
a container of strawberries or cherries to fix the lingering hunger
i house a chocolate snack, candy bar, andes mint, etc.
open a fruity soda (grape or orange)
a couple more cookies before leaving for the day
finish the soda and a couple handfulls of almonds on the drive home

once home i make dinner…
it’s usually something sad like mac & cheese with hotdogs cut up in it maybe with green beans and applesauce on the side
if i’m feeling particularly fancy (and have gone to the grocery store) i’ll cook up some chicken and make noodles and have those with green beans too, but that’s not very often
after dinner, dessert - puddin pop?  caramel corn?  ice cream w/ choc. syrup?  any of these will suffice

also add in the fact that this is a typical work day.  on the weekends i make breakfast.  this always includes at least bacon or sausage.  we hit mexican at least once and do at least one dinner out where i usually eat loaded cheese fries and definitely have a baked potato with butter. 

i guess it really isn’t such a mystery why i’m packing on the lbs afterall

does anyone else eat like this?? 

  

  

~ today i learned… no word in the english language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple. ~

what links us

i’m finding great amounts of humor in the data that is presented on blogs.  not so much what people write, though i’ve been reading some incredibly hysterical blogs, but the info that’s given back to us about our own blogs. 

one of these things is the searches.  as many of you have experienced with your own, my blog has been found by some random search terms.  for example:

friday flip up day - or any variation of these words.  this is probably the most common one for my page.  i find it hilarious how often these words are searched together.  i really thought this was something us genius elementary school perverts thought up all on our own.  i wonder what the people searching this are looking for though…

poor loser dating - this was a new one for me.  but i did find it odd and funny.  i hope it’s only in reference to my exs and not M… or me.

cheap monday outfit - i have no clue what post this would link to, but i’m afraid it’s in reference to my lounging around in pjs all day.  either that or there’s secret footage of me somewhere and people do not like what i wear.

mature oldermen dads - i have no clue what this person was looking for but i hope they found it.

hairy men/hairy boyfriend - i guess this was about M… but he’s not hairy people so if that’s how you found this blog i apologize for the let down.  we just died the grey ones on his head is all.

not so jenny - i assume these people are looking for specifically, which is nice : )

the new wordpress application that suggests “possibly related” posts is kinda scary though.   often my posts refer to other posts i’ve written about a similar topic.  it’s the linking to other posts on the web that creeps me out.  i was linked to some post about poo one time.  i have no idea why.  i don’t write anything about poo.  i was also linked to a book review too and i’ve now added that book to my list of “want to read” so at least that’s cool. 

and i’m curious, what are some of the weird terms that send people to your blog??

   

  

~ today i learned… that you’re supposed to clean the filters in the AC units.  i didn’t even realize they had filters but i guess it makes sense… ~

f-n f-b

i had to join myspace when i started my job.  i thought it was a total waste of time, but i was supposed to do it. so i did.  i was mildly entertained with myspace.  i liked adjusting all the details of my page.  i talked S into creating a page so we could both spy on people we used to know together.  then i got bored with it.  right about then facebook became all the rage and we were ordered to get on facebook for work.  so i did.   i hated facebook.  it was so confusing and seemed so boring in the beginning.  once i finally got the hang of it i liked it.  i convinced S to join too.  now i’m definitely more entertained by facebook and rarely check my myspace.  but i keep them both active.  not only for work, but also because some people aren’t on facebook and most of those people who are at least have their myspace page public so i can still spy. 

since then i’ve had dilemmas with facebook.  with myspace it was easy because i only linked to people i had to for work and friends that i never get to talk to enough.  i found some people i used to hang with and rekindled communications too.  but with facebook it doesn’t seem to be as simple.  my graduating class started some pages for our reunion but i couldn’t join them because i don’t want everyone at work to know my age.  so whenever i want to comment on these pages i have to join, write my comment, and unjoin.  this way it’s not on my profile for my coworkers and clients to see. 

but since i joined facebook and dug up all the people i wanted to “friend” it’s been weird.  there’s been this phenomenon lately of people i went to school with, but wasn’t necessarily friends with, friending me.  and whenever i see one of these i think “oh great!  she’s someone i wouldn’t mind being in touch with”  and once i accept their friend request i never hear anything from them.  i don’t get it.  whenever i friend someone i haven’t seen or talked to in a long time i send them an email.  asking how things are, getting in touch.  i’ve had people accept my friend request and then never reply back to my email.  why?  why are people so willing to be facebook friends but have no interest in being real life friends?  what’s the point of that?  it seems very much like high school to me where you pretend to be friends with someone but don’t really want to be.  and i’m very clear on my stance of not supporting that. 

what is this about?  why do people want to add you to their “friend” list but not really have any sort of friendship?  this has been bothering me for a while and each time i get a friend request from old acquaintances i always think that they’re actually interested in being friends.  silly me.  this has been one of my major points of frustration with facebook, and yet it has nothing to do with the application.

then i got an email from facebook today.  one telling me that my ex, the one i moved here with, this same one, was requesting to be my “friend”.  umm…. uhh… i really didn’t know what to do.  i took the opportunity to peak at his profile and saw nothing interesting.  but i’m having a tough time with the request.  we’re not friends.  i don’t really want to be friends.  so for the most part i’m thinking, we’re not friends in real life so why should we be facebook friends?  at the same time it’s not that we’re enemies but the last time he was in town i declined hanging out with him because i felt it wasn’t appropriate.  the boy invited me to be his guest at someone’s wedding.  it was awkward that he even invited me but i agreed that we could hang out later that weekend, but he never called (phew).  we’re definitely on speaking terms, we just don’t.  but now i have a dilemma.  if i accept his friend request he’ll know what’s going on with my life and more importantly with M.  he’ll see pictures of us.  i’m not worried about his feelings, it’s just none of his business.  and we never spoke about our love lives after we broke up and maintained a friendship so it’s not really something i want to start spilling now that we don’t communicate.

then the other option is that i decline or ignore the request.  and my assumption is that when i never respond he’ll think “that bitch”.  and again, it’s not that i care about him not liking me.  but i just feel kind of guilty because there are so many people on my “friend” list that i’m less of friends with than him.

it’s crazy how these applications have changed the way people communicate and now it’s changing the social problems too.  what’s a girl to do?   if this were you, what would you do?  i don’t really want to build our friendship back up and honestly i’m still a little concerned about the accusations his crazy ex made.  i don’t know that i believe them but i also never completely ruled them out. 

grrr… freakin technology. 

  

  

~ today i learned… the National Spelling Bee started in 1925… in 1926 the winning word was “abrogate”~