try and find one

so i’ve always been a huge fan of emily post.  of manners.  of etiquette in particular.  i like rules.  i like order.  i believe that there are certain things that should be done in certain ways.  i believe that everything you do and say sends a message.  and the things you don’t do or say can sometimes send an even stronger message.  i feel this way about pretty much everything in life.  but some things are better put into defined lines than others. 

when it comes to guys i’m a fan of gentlemen.  and with today’s relaxed society they’re tougher and tougher to come across.  that’s one of the reasons M makes me smile.  he’s a true gentleman.  not only in being a civil, caring, nurturing person, but he also subscribes to the general guidelines of what gentlemen should do when it comes to ladies.  the best part is that he has no clue.  he just does these things.  he doesn’t even think about it, it’s second nature to him.  he was just brought up right.  i love that.

they used to actually teach these things in school or cotillion, sadly this no longer happens.  guys treat girls like they’re other guys these days.  and while i’m all for it with my friends, i refuse to date someone who isn’t a gentleman.  whenever this conversation comes about with others i try to list the things a gentleman should do.  i’ll try here but there are so many that i’m sure i’m leaving out. 

so here are the things i believe a gentleman should do…

• always sit facing the door when dining out - this this goes back to the times when the man needed to be ready to defend and protect his woman should trouble walk through the door.  while i don’t expect any gunslingers to enter the places we’re eating it’s always habit for me to sit with my back to the door
• always walk on the curb side of the street - i always learned it was to protect a lady from being splashed by passing vehicles and also to protect her should a car jump the curb.  apparently it goes back even further than that, to ancient rome, and also ties to the rule that a man always holds a woman on his right arm.  it’s a courtesy (that and the right side is a place of honor, and you always turn to the right to greet others… there’s so much more to write about this but i’ll spare you all)
• always carry a ladie’s packages when walking together - these days i consider this the best case scenario, but i do believe a gentleman should at least offer.  i will usually opt to carry them myself but sometimes i’ll hand them all to M : )
• always remove your hat when indoors - i don’t care if it’s an abe lincoln top hat or a baseball cap, if we’re inside there’s no reason for this.  i do however allow a break for when we’re watching a sporting event indoors, i think at this time it’s acceptable to wear the hat for the team you’re rooting for
• always hold and open a door for a lady - this one seems like a no-brainer, but i’m actually surprised at how many people do not do this.  i mean M opens the door for me every time we get in the car.  sometimes i get frustrated with it, but it’s such a great gesture.  men are not only supposed to step ahead of a lady when approaching a building to open the door for her, but they’re also supposed to hold it for any other ladies that are following.  i can’t even tell you how many guys i’ve seen hold the door for their date and then follow her through leaving the ladies behind them to grab the door for themselves… not good.
• always help a lady with her coat or sweater - seriously, i love this one.  it’s so much easier to put a coat on when someone is holding it for you and it’s way more attractive.  i mean who likes fumbling around to find the other sleeve that’s flailing somewhere behind you?
• always sees to it that a lady has all she needs when entertaining - essentially this means if you’re going to the bar to grab another beer you should ask all ladies in your company if they would like anything.  when pouring yourself another glass of wine ask her if she’d like more first.  it’s not difficult and it’s a little enough gesture that says alot
• always rise from your seat when a lady in your company leaves or enters - when you’re sitting at a restaurant and she leaves to use the powder room, you rise from your seat when she leaves.  then you sit back down.  when you see her approaching the table upon her return, you rise again until she sits.  it’s just common courtesy.  it makes me very sad that hardly anyone adheres to this rule anymore. 
• always stand behing or in front of a lady to prevent her from falling - on escelators in general, stairs too, a gentleman should be behind the lady going up and in front of her coming down.  it’s a good thing when we’ve been drinking too

those are the things that stick out in my mind.  things a gentleman would do.  i don’t believe that chivalry is dead so much as the recent generations have never been properly taught how to act.  like i said, i’m lucky to have found someone who does these things without thinking (maybe it’s because he’s so old : ).  and i know there are some more gentlemen out there… somewhere 

does anyone else adhere to these rules?  did i miss any basic gentlemanly rules that you appreciate or do?

  

  

~ today i learned… pearls melt in vinegar ~