try and find one

so i’ve always been a huge fan of emily post.  of manners.  of etiquette in particular.  i like rules.  i like order.  i believe that there are certain things that should be done in certain ways.  i believe that everything you do and say sends a message.  and the things you don’t do or say can sometimes send an even stronger message.  i feel this way about pretty much everything in life.  but some things are better put into defined lines than others. 

when it comes to guys i’m a fan of gentlemen.  and with today’s relaxed society they’re tougher and tougher to come across.  that’s one of the reasons M makes me smile.  he’s a true gentleman.  not only in being a civil, caring, nurturing person, but he also subscribes to the general guidelines of what gentlemen should do when it comes to ladies.  the best part is that he has no clue.  he just does these things.  he doesn’t even think about it, it’s second nature to him.  he was just brought up right.  i love that.

they used to actually teach these things in school or cotillion, sadly this no longer happens.  guys treat girls like they’re other guys these days.  and while i’m all for it with my friends, i refuse to date someone who isn’t a gentleman.  whenever this conversation comes about with others i try to list the things a gentleman should do.  i’ll try here but there are so many that i’m sure i’m leaving out. 

so here are the things i believe a gentleman should do…

• always sit facing the door when dining out - this this goes back to the times when the man needed to be ready to defend and protect his woman should trouble walk through the door.  while i don’t expect any gunslingers to enter the places we’re eating it’s always habit for me to sit with my back to the door
• always walk on the curb side of the street - i always learned it was to protect a lady from being splashed by passing vehicles and also to protect her should a car jump the curb.  apparently it goes back even further than that, to ancient rome, and also ties to the rule that a man always holds a woman on his right arm.  it’s a courtesy (that and the right side is a place of honor, and you always turn to the right to greet others… there’s so much more to write about this but i’ll spare you all)
• always carry a ladie’s packages when walking together - these days i consider this the best case scenario, but i do believe a gentleman should at least offer.  i will usually opt to carry them myself but sometimes i’ll hand them all to M : )
• always remove your hat when indoors - i don’t care if it’s an abe lincoln top hat or a baseball cap, if we’re inside there’s no reason for this.  i do however allow a break for when we’re watching a sporting event indoors, i think at this time it’s acceptable to wear the hat for the team you’re rooting for
• always hold and open a door for a lady - this one seems like a no-brainer, but i’m actually surprised at how many people do not do this.  i mean M opens the door for me every time we get in the car.  sometimes i get frustrated with it, but it’s such a great gesture.  men are not only supposed to step ahead of a lady when approaching a building to open the door for her, but they’re also supposed to hold it for any other ladies that are following.  i can’t even tell you how many guys i’ve seen hold the door for their date and then follow her through leaving the ladies behind them to grab the door for themselves… not good.
• always help a lady with her coat or sweater - seriously, i love this one.  it’s so much easier to put a coat on when someone is holding it for you and it’s way more attractive.  i mean who likes fumbling around to find the other sleeve that’s flailing somewhere behind you?
• always sees to it that a lady has all she needs when entertaining - essentially this means if you’re going to the bar to grab another beer you should ask all ladies in your company if they would like anything.  when pouring yourself another glass of wine ask her if she’d like more first.  it’s not difficult and it’s a little enough gesture that says alot
• always rise from your seat when a lady in your company leaves or enters - when you’re sitting at a restaurant and she leaves to use the powder room, you rise from your seat when she leaves.  then you sit back down.  when you see her approaching the table upon her return, you rise again until she sits.  it’s just common courtesy.  it makes me very sad that hardly anyone adheres to this rule anymore. 
• always stand behing or in front of a lady to prevent her from falling - on escelators in general, stairs too, a gentleman should be behind the lady going up and in front of her coming down.  it’s a good thing when we’ve been drinking too

those are the things that stick out in my mind.  things a gentleman would do.  i don’t believe that chivalry is dead so much as the recent generations have never been properly taught how to act.  like i said, i’m lucky to have found someone who does these things without thinking (maybe it’s because he’s so old : ).  and i know there are some more gentlemen out there… somewhere 

does anyone else adhere to these rules?  did i miss any basic gentlemanly rules that you appreciate or do?

  

  

~ today i learned… pearls melt in vinegar ~

old is new

when i was in ct my sister and i went through my mom’s basement.  i can’t even describe how much crap she has.  she’s a total pack rat (it’s where both of us get that terrible trait).  and she can never throw a damn thing away.  we recently found out she’s got some mice hangin’ out.  so not only do we want her place to be cleaner, but we don’t want the mice to have a place to hide either.  so we spent an entire day cleaning (again… and we will be doing this a couple more times before it’s all done).  her basement is filled with things from all years… our youth, our parent’s youth, etc.  every time one of my grandparent’s passed away my parents ended up with their stuff.  not just neat antique stuff but boxes of CRAP too!  seriously, as we were rummaging through this stuff we found every single thing my father ever did in school.  i’m not talking science projects, etc, i’m talking about every exercise he did in his typing class, notebooks full of scribbles, receipts!  every damn thing that could be kept WAS.

as we started going through box after box we realized that the mice had gotten into almost every thing.  there was poop all over (still makes me shudder).  my sister and i labeled things into one of three categories: unimportant, destroyed, salvageable.  the first two went to the dumpster the third was put into big plastic bins.  while it was sad to throw away box after box of strawberry shortcake stuff, my little pony, and carebears because the mice had destroyed them, it was neat to uncover some of the older stuff.  we found my dad’s old binders from school, scribbles of him plus another girl (that wasn’t my mom).  notes between him and other girls.  it was fun to find out what a playboy my dad was.  my favorite of these was a letter from a girl to him.  basically she broke up with him but really wanted to be friends, i won’t get into the entire note but the last line i love.  she was talking about the upcoming dance and the last words she wrote were “save me a twist”.  i’m not sure how to explain it, but that line makes me smile.

anyway, the stuff i unearthed and was able to save was nice.  alot of reminds of my youth.  the last time we did this i found the original kool aide man pitcher we loved so much.  this time i found three of the cups that went with it!  i used to drink EVERYTHING out of these.

i’m so happy to have these back.  i also found an old first aide kit.  this was from my dad’s old office

i found these steins of my dad’s… does anyone know what the glass one was from?  all i remember is that it used to be in the freezer all the time, just ready.  the metal one is engraved with my dad’s initials, but you can’t see that because of the flash

then i found this next thing.  *ed note: i found this in my caboodle… yes, with my engraved name plate!* i was so excited that i ALMOST put it on… i’m just afraid of what 20 yr old lip gloss would do to my lips.  i have a feeling it might burn. 

does anyone else recognize this?  or was i the only kid who was OBSESSED with it?!  it’s the lip gloss from avon.  i don’t know if they make this anymore, and the chocolate appears to have rubbed off some of the chips, but when i opened it up i grinned from ear to ear.  it still smells the same inside.  like chocolate!  it’s SO tempting!

but out of the bag of crap i dragged back to VA (including old fireworks, old match books, art i made in kindergarten, glasses from our old house, etc.) this is absolutely my FAVORITE find…

i’m over the moon about this one.  i’m such a huge jackie o nut.  i think she’s the most wonderful person in the world to idolize.  i’m so happy to now own this fantastic piece of history.  there was also a “vote for kennedy” button but i threw it in one of the plastic tubs and didn’t feel like digging it back out.  the only thing that makes me nervous is now i feel like i need a bigger fire safe so i don’t lose this.

so anyway, this is a sampling of the things that made me happy to get back.  i’ll add the steins to the shelf where my dad’s pipes are.  the cups and glasses will go in the cupboard and everything else wlil find it’s way to safe storage.

with all this flashback… can i tell you how excited i am to find out that WKRP is on tv?!  i’m so freaking excited!!!

  

  

~ today i learned… actually, i’d like to learn something.  can anyone tell me, if i post pictures but then delete the images from my computer, will they go away on the page?  or are they there forever once they’re up? ~

not beneficial

when i went to the dentist to talk about invisalign i needed to make some changes to my info on file.  i’d changed jobs since i was there last so i had new dental insurance.  i handed the girl at the desk my card from when she proceeded to call them and sit on hold for a good 30 minutes.  when she finally hung up she came out and looked at me quizically.  she asked “did you know you have NO ortho coverage?”, she appeared to be very confused by the whole thing.  while i hadn’t actually known that, i wasn’t exactly surprised.  you see my company pays for my dental.  there is no other option.  at least with medical we got to pick options on what type of plan we want to participate in and pay for.  since they pay for the dental i had no say.  all i got was a card with my name, written in pen, on it.  so no, i wasn’t shocked.  i was a little disappointed, but that’s apparently my company’s m.o.

so then i decided to make my monthly payments for invisalign through flex spend.  this is such a better way to do tihngs like this because you save so much money with it being tax free.  most companies have an open enrollment period when you can opt into any of these benefits.  i was hoping i hadn’t missed mine, and if i did i was hoping that playing dumb to the HR dept. would allow me to still get in on it.  when i contacted them i was told that we have no flex spend accounts.  what?  seriously?  no flex spend?  i’ve never heard of that.  yes, the company i work for started very small but we’ve been bought by a HUGE corporation.  wtf?  no ortho and no flex spend?  nice.

it’s not over yet.  i found out the otherday that one of the girls i work with is preggers.  (i am so giddy!!  i’m so excited to buy a ton of baby hokie stuff!!)  when she told me about it she was pissed.  she found out that our company maternity policy is this - 12wks.  unpaid.  um, what??  that’s not a maternity policy; it’s an unpaid vacation.  wtf?!  this place has got some serious issues. 

and while maternity does not apply to me at this point in my life, it’s something that made me seriously stop and think.  it’s no secret (especially to M) that i want to start a family in the upcoming years.  and while i did give it a passing thought that working this job, where i have the ability to work from home, would be perfect when i have a baby.  but now, knowing that i wouldn’t get maternity leave makes me seriously think that i’ll need to be working somewhere else when i have a baby.  it’s sad because it makes me feel like i’m becoming too old and responsible since i have to consider things like this.  it’s like when everyone buys a house and they consider what school zone it’s in.  i’ve always scoffed at that because i felt like it didn’t matter until you had a kid.  now i know.   and i’m just glad i’ve got some time to find another job before it’s too late. (this doesn’t seem to affect the fact that i’ve sent out a few resumes and have yet to hear any responses).

 

  

  

~ today i learned… in every episode f Seinfeld there is a Superman somwehere ~

lookin good kiddo

every girl had some guy on their wall as a kid, right?  it was probably whoever you cut out of Bop or Tiger Beat.  or, if you were lucky, you got the edition with the pull-out poster in the middle!  for me i was lucky to have my dreamy beau hunk KC plastered above my bed.  you know who i’m talking about.  the illustrious Mike Seaver.  that ol’ smooth faced cutie pie, Kirk Cameron. 

i recently saw him doing press for his new book and i was delighted to see that he has only aged a year in the past 20.  holy cow is he still super super cute!  he reminds me of tom hanks in this way (though i am in no way attracted to tom, i just think he never ages either).  for those of you who haven’t seen him, this is what the little devil looks like now…

cute, right?  although he’s never done any noteworthy or amazing work, kirk’s really done a great job keeping up his looks.  he married his onscreen sweetheart, chelsea noble.  isn’t that cute too?  and the man has 6 kids.  SIX KIDS!  he’s only 37!  it may not seem like alot to some of you but when i think about M having 6 kids by now, my eyes cross.  i can’t even imagine having that many kids… ever.  for me 2 would be nice.  still cheap enough to afford because i don’t think i could do just one.  i couldn’t even have one dog, i had to go buy him a friend.  we’ll see though.  i have a few steps to get across before any of this is an issue though.

back to kirk.  i hope that if i ever have boys they can retain their looks like this.  heck, i hope M retains his looks.  granted he doesn’t look 14 anymore but he doesn’t look his age either.  and i met him just after his father died so i’m not sure what he looked like.  now that i think of it, i’ve never even seen a picture of his father.  M doesn’t have any pictures in his house.  he has one of his nephews and that’s it.  seriosuly, one photo in a frame.  it’s odd.  maybe i should go buy him some frames?  we have a ton of pictures of us and i should probably force one upon his home.  maybe.
okay, so i guess that wasn’t back to kirk really, but i had nothing else to say about him.  except that while i spent many days of my youth daydreaming about being his girlfriend (i always dreamed it to be something like that episode where they put on “our town”) i never thought about him moving on with his life without me… but it appears he did.  and somehow he’s made it work without me in it.  good for you kirk.

  

  

~ today i learned… rapper Ice Cube’s real name is O’Shea Jackson ~

bad decision

am i the only one who watched bachelorette last night?  i haven’t read a single post about it today

anyway, i was saddened by it.  granted i only caught the last 10 minutes but that was enough.  i knew she was down to jesse (the laid back snowboarder, i assume pothead, with a “quirky” sense of style), jason (the really sweet and endearing hot daddy with a 3yr old), jeremy (the obnoxious mildly eye pleasing  weenie), and graham (the super hot, ultra cool guy who’s guarded with his feelings).  i didn’t see the trips she took to meet their families but as she entered the room to begin the rose ceremony i started explaining the situation to M.  i told him how it was obvious that graham was going to be the last man standing because they seemed to fit well together.  and they were chasing each other.  to me there always needs to be a chase involved with real love (maybe it’s that feeling of earning it, i dunno).  i also announced that it was obvious that jesse was the one to get the boot during this episode.  it’s pretty obvious that there’s no physical chemistry there so why keep him around any longer?

then she did it.  she let graham go.  my jaw dropped.  i knew she was being foolish.  she wanted him to open up to her more so she let him go?  she reminds me alot of myself with this action.  as she sat out there and talked to him before he got into his limo she said what seemed pretty obvious - that he was the only one she thought she was falling in love with.  that’s when you could see how much he cared too.  and before he walked away he gave her a note.  a note he’d already written telling her how he feels.  a note to tell her the things he wanted to be just for her, not for me watching at home (although i would love to get a peak at what he wrote).  i could see the heartbreak.  i could feel it.  i’ve been there.  i think alot of people have been there.  when someone just isn’t where you want them to be when you want them to be.  (sounds alot like my relationship, huh?)  and as much as you think walking away will be better, part of you just wants it to knock some sense into the other person.  it’s a scare tactic to make them realize what they’re going to lose if they don’t figure their shit out quick.

anyway, i was more than bummed when she had him leave.  especially since she even stated that she came there to find love, and with only 2 ceremonies left she’s giving up the ONE person she was falling in love with??  does that make sense??  does that mean she’s going to end up with someone she’s lukewarm about?  i mean, as i said before, there’s no physical connection with her for jesse it’s painfully obvious.  i think she’s got too many reservations about hot (really hot) dad jason, it’s the whole “am i ready to have an instant family?” issue.  and jeremy, he’s kind of a twit and i think she sees that.  but beyond all that, it really made me think about my situation. 

i’m upset and hurt and angry and sad and disappointed… but i’m in love.  the issue of whether we’ll ever get married or not is the only thing that’s ever driven a wedge between us.  he’s my best friend.  i can be the biggest idiot i am around him and he loves me anyway.  i can put on drysol and come to bed with saran wrap under my arms and he’s still turned on.   he knows by my voice and eye contact if there’s something wrong.   he knows my past and loves who i am because of it.  this doesn’t mean that anything is changed or better, i still want what i want and him not being on the same page still upsets me, but i know that it’s worth waiting for.  i’m not ready to use the scare tactic (not yet anyway… )

so anyway, did anyone else watch this?  thoughts??

  

  

~ today i learned… that i am youtube-tarded and still don’t have a video up of my niece’s recital : (  ~

whotube?

can anyone help me?  i’m trying to upload a video i took of my niece in her recital so that family can see it, but it’s been “uploading” for like 30 minutes.  it’s a 3 minute video!  taken on a camera!  it can’t be that hard!

i’ve never actually uploaded anything on youtube before, and i never thought i ever would, but it’s just not working for me!  and i can’t email the video to anyone because it’s too big to send from my work email and my hotmail keeps giving me an error.  it’s a simple avi file.

 

can anyone help?!?!