when my sister was here to visit we went to the beach. i’m normally happy wearing jeans and a tank top on any 80 degree day but when i go to the beach i refuse to wear jeans. it just feels wrong. so that morning i pulled out my capris, and started to try them on. one by one they didn’t fit. then i found my trusty jean skirt. i figured i’d just wear that. i don’t even own shorts (and i refuse to wear them) so this skirt is what i would typically wear on an unbearably hot day if i opted to not wear a dress. as i began pulling the skirt up i almost broke into tears. i couldn’t get it past my thighs. just like every pair of pants i’d tried on. nothing fit me at all. it’s ridiculous! i mean it’s been less than a year since i’ve worn these items and now i can’t get this stuff past my thighs. if i’d had the energy i would have cried.
i’ve gained weight in the last few months, yes. but in total about 8 pounds only. i found this lovely drawn lady to demonstrate where i’m picking up the fat (keep in mind she and i don’t share the same boob ratio) it just all seems to gather in the space between the red lines:
so i decided that on my next shopping trip my goal was bottoms. i buy tops all the time, that’s easyeasier. i need skirts and capris. so when M was out of town this weekend i used my fallback time filler - shopping at the outlets! after spending 2 hours there i couldn’t find much of what i needed. it was a total bummer. i ended up with one great pair of capris and the onlky jean skirt i could find in the entire outlet center (we have 120 store so that’s kinda sad… am i that out of style? are jean skirts really out?). and the guy at true religion was a total jerk about it. i walked in and asked the first employee i saw “do you guys have any jean skirts?” to which he quickly retorted “DENIM skirts? no, we don’t have any DENIM skirts right now.”. get off your high horse kid. i know that jeans are pants made of denim and a jean skirt isn’t an actual thing but get over it. i was speaking in layman’s terms so take your well manicured attitude elsewhere.
so i did eventually find one denimskirt in the KC outlet and i bought it. it is actually a great fit. but i’m just so surprised that there weren’t more options. i also bought a pair of python flats… i’m not really sure why, i guess just to round out my animal print collection. they’re super cute though. while i was in KC i tried on a few pairs of jeans along with this skirt. i grabbed size 2s when i walked in the door. when the nice lady came back to check on me in the dressing room i asked her to bring me 4s. she did. the skirt now fit, but the jeans still did not. she told me i might be a 6 or an 8. WHAT?!? i’m not saying there’s anything wrong with these sizes, but i was a 0-2 last year and have been for most of my life. actually a majority of my life i’ve been happy to find a size 0 that wasn’t baggy on me. when i started being able ot fit into 2s i was elated. when i found 4s that fit, i was ecstatic. i felt like a normal human being. but now you’re telling me that i could be 3-4x bigger than i was a year ago? i don’t care what size you are, that type of increase is not cool! now i’m not a 6 across the board, my banana items prove that to me. but it’s still thrown me for a loop. as i look down at my ever-expanding stomach it makes me sad. i guess i never realized that skinny girls can be fat at the same time. i’m going to have to step up my pilates classes.
anyway when i got home and balanced my checkbook i wanted to cry. yes, i need bottoms for the warm weather. but i also didn’t needthe 5 tops and pair of shoes i bought. i decided to take on the task of pulling out, and trying on, every past summer item from the big tupperware tubs that were hiding in my closet. after a few hours i ended up with an enormous pile of items to take to salvation army and a burn behind my thighs from trying to pull things on that weren’t willing.
stupid clothes.
~ today i learned… every once in a while you should put 1/2 cup of baking soda in with your towels. it will make them fresher than you thought possible : ) ~
Ugh I hate this time of year when it comes to trying on clothes. That why I always start my diet at least a month before my apartment’s pool opens! :)
And I agree with you even though I threw up in my mouth a little while reading it, but that’s due to how absolutely teeny you are and how absolutely teeny I’m not, that going up 3 or 4 times your normal size in one year is crazy!
Comment by littlespoon — May 5, 2008 @ 10:28 am
I never really realize that I have put on weight until it’s time to try on clothes from the year before. Grr. I am hoping that when I move to Chicago I will lose some weight because I will be walking more. Here is hoping.
Comment by penelope23 — May 5, 2008 @ 10:31 am
Another reason I’m glad I’m not a woman.
Comment by apollocreed — May 5, 2008 @ 12:53 pm
Seriously! I gain weight in exactly the same places. It seems so innocuous; I really don’t notice it until I’m trying on new clothes or wearing something tight.
I’ve actually bought clothes that are too tight just becuase they’re my size and I’m convinced I’ll be able to fit into them again soon. I have a lovely banana republic suit that I bought on sale a few years back; the only little size they had left was a two. “I’m normally a two,” I said. “I can make this work.” Except it looks hideous, like I’m blowing out of it. I think I’ve only worn it once, last fall, when I was having a seriously skinny spat. So not worth it.
Sometimes I think I’m insane. What, could I talk myself into getting smaller just by taunting by bulging belly with nice clothes? Don’t think so. Experiment failed.
The weird thing is, certain of my clothes consistently fit great, no matter what size the dressing room says I need. I think someone may have put a fat hex on me.
Comment by magda — May 5, 2008 @ 10:47 pm