on sunday night, M and i went out to a nice dinner in DC. it was a really nice night. we’d just been out touring DC on foot in the cold, cold, mist all day. we were both tired after that and our feet were in alot of pain so we rested at the hotel for a bit. he ran a 10K the day before, and i’d been walking in flats for 2 days. (yes, the two are comparable. because he was wearing sneakers and while i’d hoped flats would be perfect for walking large amounts in a single day, they’re not. i’m now convinced that there are no cute shoes that are good for touring entire cities on foot. i’m fine walking miles in heels for a day, but not days in a row. so next time, it’s these sneakers). after a while M nudged me to get ready so we could catch dinner and still be back in time for John Adams on HBO (it’s so nice when we’re both obsessed with the same show).
we found a nice tavern a block away and had a really great meal. though the service left something to be desired. it wasn’t bad, just very slow. and they forgot little things. so part way through dinner M said “i guess this trip is our anniversary celebration? ”, i froze. how could that happen? i’d completely forgotten! and he didn’t?? it was crazy. i started to tear up. partly because i’d had too much a glass of wine and tears come easy then but also because i couldn’t believe i’d forgotten that we were already at that date. i was also so happy that he’d remembered. and with absolutely no hinting or prodding from me (obviously, since i was clueless). but what was really sticking with me was the fact that i’d let it slip by me unnoticed.
what is wrong with me? it’s just not characteristic of me. i’m a date person. i celebrate every anniversary. i never forget to send birthday cards. heck, i’ve even got the date S finds out the sex of her baby on my calendar. so how could our anniversary be that close and i hadn’t even thought about it? is it because i’ve been so overwhelmed with complaining about work lately? is it because i was so excited about taking the trip? maybe because i’ve been looking forward to so many things coming up in the next few weeks? i’m sure it’s a combination of all of these things. but you know what i think it is the most? i’ve been so focused on whether or not we’re ever going to get married that i’ve completely forgotten about our relationship. i’ve slacked on it and not really paid any attention to the important things. i haven’t been putting my heart into it. i know that i’m a little hesitant to do so because i’m afraid it’s not going to work out in the end. but i feel like it’s the situation of not being able to see the forest for the trees. this made me realize that something has to change. i’ve got to refocus myself on our relationship. of course i’ll still keep in mind where it’s going, but i need to get back to a place where i’m in it every day and not just waiting for it to change.
the other issue is that we have different ideas of when our anniversary actually is. he says it’s the day before i do. he goes by the night i stayed over, and i go by the first actual date. i know that sounds odd, and no we didn’t “hit it” the night before our first date. as i’ve said, M and i were friends long before we officially started dating. so we had plans to go to the sox game in baltimore one day but were hanging out (as usual) the day before. that night we somehow ended up discussing things and eventually decided that we would just date already. i think there was some kissing that night, but that’s all. and i stayed over. so he considers that our first official day of dating. i consider the day after, the actual date to baltimore, the day. neither of us is wrong. he even mentioned that he’d already checked the game schedule, and if they were playing any time around our day he was going to get tickets again. he really is thoughtful and sweet when it comes to certain things. it’s so easy to forget sometimes.
so i’ve decided we’ll just celebrate for two days from now on. and i’ve written it on my calendar.
~ today i learned… The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building (if anyone can back this up that’d be great… i’m kinda skeptical of this “fact”) ~
