lonely girl, lonely and blue

i just found out that M is going away on a business trip next week.

normally this isn’t an issue.  it’s never been an issue in the past.  heck, when we started dating i used to travel every other week for work and then sometimes on the week i was here he’d have to travel.  back then it was part of life and we were both so busy that we enjoyed the time to just sit down and relax by ourselves.  we’ve both transferred into new jobs where neither of us really travels for work anymore.  when we travel now it’s usually a trip we’re taking together.  and even when i travel home, he usually comes with me for some period of that time.  so i guess this is the first time he’s had to travel and i’m going to be here.  alone.  as soon as he told me, i was upset.

i love spending time with him.  and the fact that he’ll be gone for part of the weekend bothers me this time.  i’m so used to spending my entire weekend with him.  the more i think about how much this bothers me, the more upset it makes me.  i know it sounds sad to say that my life revolves around him, but it kinda does.  it’s just so crazy because i’ve always been an extremely independent person.  i’ve never needed anyone else.  i’ve never not enjoyed time alone.  i drove from CT to CO by myself and loved having that much time alone.  we just spend most of our free time together  now, we’re always doing something.  and it’s not that i’m one of those people who gave up my friends when we started dating.  he was already my best friend here by then.  and all of my other friends, well, as i’ve said before they’re just kind of acquaintances.  i’ve asked one girl what she’s up to next week since we’ve been talking about getting together.  but if that doesn’t come through i’m on my own.  and i have no clue what to do with that much time on my hands.  i never have that kind of time alone anymore.  and i know i’m always wishing i just had more time to be here and get stuff done.  but now that i have it, i have no idea what to do with it. 

i guess i could complete the changing of my wardrobe.  or maybe i’ll do some shopping and not worry about being anywhere at a certain time (if i do, i can completely call off the shopping ban i was trying to enforce).  but beyond what i’m going to do, i know i’m going to miss certain things.  even for a couple of days.

who’s going to wake me up for morning pilates with “rise and shine.  kung fu today.” in their best swedish accent?
who’s stomach am i going to put my frozen feet on and hold them there while they wince?
who am i going to talk to before i go to sleep every night? (i’ll stlil get to talk to him, but since he’ll be 3hrs behind, it means i’m going to be woken from my sleep to talk)
who’s going to shame me out of buying that next pair of shoes?
who will rub my hands when i wake up in the morning and before i can open my eyes, shove my hand in their face?
who can i put an outfit on for and ask “does this look okay?” and get a reasonable answer?
who will snore me to sleep?
who is going to be around to not send me flowers?

(okay, so this list makes M kinda sound like a sissy… but he’s really just a good boyfriend, except for that last part)

i know he’s only going for 5 days, but i guess i’m one of those losers that relies on their loved one for daily happiness.  not that i won’t be happy, but my family and friends will get way more calls during this time.  and i’ll probably acquire more shoes.  and my place is going to be a disaster with no one to clean it up for.  but it’ll be good.  i’ll find something to do, right? 

anyone got ideas about what i can do next weekend?  suggestions?

  

  

~ today i learned… that when i have my head flipped over, blow drying my hair, i look like sour grapes with all my skin falling up~

answers

okay, so this is not my post for today, just the answers from yesterday

i’m a big fan of old movies.  especially ones that i consider classics.  i always assume everyone has seen them, but this quiz proved me wrong.  so here you go -

1. Love Story - this is absolutely a classic for anyone who loves, well love stories
2. Love Actually - i really love this movie.  really love it.  it’s always a pick-me-up for me.  and it’s becoming a christmas movie on tv, but i watch it all year.
3. Notting Hill - as much as i hate saying it, this may be my favorite movie.  i know that makes it sound like i have bad taste, but once you get past the whole actress falls in love with common man theme, just the message and some of the moments are so wonderful.  the final scene in that movie makes me cry every time.  it’s my idea of love and happiness.  finally being where you never thought you’d be with everything you wanted.  i’m a hopeless/ful romantic.
4. About a Boy - a completely underrated movie.  my sister and her husband watch it almost every day.  if you enjoy hugh grant and his brand of wit, you’ll like this movie.
5. So I Married an Axe Murderer - i can’t believe no one got this.  it’s CLASSIC mike meyers!
6. Gilda - this is by far one of the best black and white love stories.  i rate it over casablanca.  stop throwing tomatoes at me!
7. A Place in the Sun - yes another classic love story (i’m so unpredictable : )  in my opinion it’s elizabeth taylor at her finest. 
8. Old School - i would have been very disappointed if this had not been guessed
9. Caddyshack - i’m very disappointed this had not been guessed.  apollocreed - i expected more from you
10. Cat on a Hot Tin Roof - classic.  many people this this is elizabeth at her finest, but see my comment on #7.  i love it for paul newman’s hotness alone.
11. The Story of Us - i love bruce willis.  and anyone who’s ever had a rocky relationship can relate to this movie.  i cry buckets at this one.
12. Couch Trip - a hilarious, yet underrated movie
13. High Society - grace kelly?  there’s no one more classy
14. Pretty Woman - classic classic classic love story.  you know, man hires prostitute, man falls in love with prostitute.  classic.
15. Steel Magnolias - as littlespoon said, the best movie about southerners ever made

and magda was correct - Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts are my favorites.  i have many favorites, but i tend to love their movies more than most.  hugh grant is so handsome and charming.  i’m jealous of divine brown : )
and julia roberts, well, people can say what they want about her.  she’s beautiful to me.  and i adore her life (she’s made mistakes but ended up finding the man she loves and now has the wonderful home life). 

the end.